A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:HiI am a 49 year old and have been married for 27 years. lately i have been having an issues getting hard. my wife loves sex and loves forplay. this can last upto 30 mins and is very open. during this time my penis only gets semie hard, unless i get my wife to talk dirty or about other guys.if she does this i become realy hard. Once my wife has cum, which can be many times she like for me to finisher her with my penis. if i get hard i general cum within a min or two and she is left wanting. how do i get hard and what can i do to last longer. eg to night we had sex and she had to go without, i caught her playing with her self. she says she does this 2-3 times a week
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers so far, didn't sleep last night due to it, i took some pics of her last night, has she will be working away this week to see if i can get hard whilst she is away.
she says it ok but i know how much she likes to be finished with my penis.
with talking dirty how do i retrain myself?
secondly, i had this same issue a few weeks ago when we were on holiday,before going out for dinner we had sex, lots of forplay but again i didn't finish her. i asked her to go out without any undies which she did. i was hard all night, on our way back to the hotel (it was crowed) several guys brushed up against her and again it turned me on.
we then went for a full body massage and she picked a guy to do her, i thought we would be together but we had separte rooms. when she tells me about what happend i get realy hard
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): Well, there's obviously nothing wrong with the plumbing if you can get a decent erection now and then. I would say there's possibly a psychological problem rather than a mechanical one, especially if you can get a decent stiffy when talking dirty etc. Performance anxiety maybe?
One of the performance enhancing drugs like Viagra or Cialis would obviously be useful, but get checked out by your doctor before going down that route - it's not suitable for everyone and you need to be clear of any contrary indications like low blood pressure for instance.
Phil
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): Here is the same question with some thoughts to get you started.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/weve-had-excellent-sex-but-recently-while-in.html
When I was younger, I would think about something besides sex during the intercourse stage to keep from getting it off before my wife had her orgasm. This would be after she had already had an oral orgasm. Being younger, it would still stay hard. I would think of really boring things. The problem is that I would have to think of something really erotic to get back in the mood to have my orgasm. Usually, that would be fantasizing about her having sex with others, like a line of guys waiting for me to finish.
Now that I am older, I have no trouble lasting long enough for her to have her vaginal orgasm. However, I do sometimes have a difficult time keeping it hard during the foreplay and then she has to help before the intercourse begins. As I said in that post that I referenced, mornings are much better. We are both fresh and not tired as we may be in the evening. We always enjoy it more in the morning, except for special occasions. Those occasions are when we go out to a nice dinner or have a nice fancy dinner at home, with a more wine than our normal 1/2 glass. We make dirty talk during dinner and I tell her about all of the things that I am going to do to her when we get home or finish dinner at home. We are both so turned on that she normally has 3 orgasms and I have no trouble staying hard for the entire 30 to 60 minutes. This is the only way that evening really works well for us any more. Of course, you cannot be exhausted before starting dinner.
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