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How do I let my best guy friend know I am in love with him and not risk our friendship?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 August 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, *ovebug9 writes:

I have this guy friend who i am very into but i dont think he is into me.....we are always flirting and stuff he has always been there for me when my rents were fighting he was there when i feel down a hill a spraned my ankle he carried me to the house he nos all my deepsest secrets......he was my first kiss my first romantic walk on the beach and i was there 4 him when he was in his 4wheller reck i took care of him like i was his wife that was my nickname form him lol i feel he would be the best boyfriend but i dont kno how he feels about me i feel i am getting mixed signals what can i do.....i am n love with my best guy friend

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009):

my friend liked me and I liked him

we were best friends

after i told him how i felt he went all hot and cold with me. Kissing one week and avoiding me the next and we had silly fights

things got really awkward and I think 6 months has past so I lost him :(

its really sad that I seen a horrible side of him, so just be CERTAIN before you tell him. Im not saying this will happen everytime but it is a risk factor of admitting ur feelings for him...

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A female reader, cheerwhore23  United States +, writes (6 August 2009):

omg how flippin adorable! Lol it kinda seems like he would be into you but guys are so confusing you never know what they are thinking so if I were you i would just throw hints that you like him and after awhile if he doesn't get it tell him

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (6 August 2009):

SirenaBlusera agony auntIf you come on too strong, it can make a guy uncomfortable.

Secondly... if he's truly your friend, he's not going to

turn his back on you for ANY reason.

If you don't tell him, you will regret it later. If you have feelings for him, you should tell him that you think he would be a good boyfriend. Life is too short not to take reasonable risks.

Tell him how you feel, just don't come on too strong. I would avoid the words, "I love you." Just ask him if if you could be more than friends.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009):

Every choice an individual makes has a risk factor. You make one choice and another closes up or opens up. You make one choice and it can go either bad, good or something in between.

You cannot not risk your friendship if you want to tell him how you feel, just as you cannot not risk feeling regret if you never tell him how you feel.

Here are some ideas for you:

A) Ask him a hypothetical question. Eg: over a conversation one day, ask, "If a boy and a girl are great friends and at least one of them has fallen in love for the other, do you think that person should tell the other person? What if that ruins the friendship? Would it ruin yours if it happened to you?" - something along those lines.

B) Tell him directly.

C) Never tell him.

D) Never tell him per se, BUT express it through further experiences. If you two are 'meant' to be together, you two will get into a position where you can both share your feelings mutually.

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Perception greatly helps here. Unfortunately, it seems you lack the conviction to proceed along with your perception. Therefore, imagine the above scenarios and what you are willing to risk, then proceed accordingly.

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