A
female
age
36-40,
*ibbey
writes:I love my boyfriend very much, but feel we need to "take a break." He is no longer affectionate and I have talked to him about this several times, but he hasn't acted upon it and I have been extremely patient. I think he would realize his feelings for me if we took a break for awhile. So I was wondering, how do I let him know that he will be the one that needs to initiate getting back together, or do I not mention such a thing and let nature take its course during a break?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): This is usually where guys get into trouble, and when push comes to shove, arguments may break out. Why? Maybe because the romantic gestures, the treats, the special events, guys usually think that is in the beginning of a relationship, and after you both become an item, now reality sets in and you both plan for the future as two mature adults. It also is a time when guys have the mind set to settle down, and the gilfriend and job takes up allot of his time. Work can be stressful and zap you of your energy. When men keep hearing she isn't getting enough, one of a few things pop up in his head: she is still living in a fantasy world, where the night and shining armour comes and save her. Now guys don't mind doing this to save the girl and live happily ever after, but to be expected to do this every night, or once a week is just to much, and can be expensive, and if he isn't wealthy, he fears he won't have enough money to pay bills, save up for a rainy day and to keep buying these expensive gifts to.
We men understand that you want to feel admired and respected, but when we have so many responsibilities, it is hard to keep up. Then the girlfriend or wife begins to feel neglected, and the whole time they've been together, not once did she initiate sex, or surprise him with something special, he begins to feel neglected, that he doesn't receive the same type of treatment, at least once a year would be nice to know he isn't being used as a patsy.
This has been my experience girls, and my wife is like that even after 20 years plus of marriage. Never initiates sex, and if I ask to much, like once or twice a week, I get either accused of having sex on the brain or some other excuse. It seems to me that while I am away from home, instead of going to work, I should plan a big event for the night. Doesn't seem realistic to me, and maybe she's been watching to many Soap Operas or old love movies and wants to be swept away. Kind of like crying wolf just for attention.
So your between 18 and 21, probably been dating for a few years, and already you feel empty and neglected, and now you want to cut him off? First, what have you been doing for him? Whens the last time you did something special for him? It seems like he is getting tired of all th request and feels that maybe like your sitting on the couch all day, day-dreaming and eating bonbons.
Do you work? Do you live together?
Men would love to make there partners happy, but they need to make their bosses happy, and doing so keeps there job and a paycheck so everyone in the family can eat.
Sounds kind of selfish to me. I wouldn't be surprised if our little princesses spend the whole day wondering what there shining armour will do or bring her today.
Well this is one man feelings on the subject. I feel older quicker being married to someone that wants me to initiate our life together, I didn't realize I had to pull her out of the closet and wind her up.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 I would rather prefer to let nature takes its course.
If he is the one for you , he will come back to your side.
If you love him too much , then it is a different matter.
You would initiate his comeback.
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