A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I move on from here? A few months ago, my boyfriend and I attended a school party where alcohol was involved (We are both in university, although in different ones and yes, the students from other universities are allowed in that party.). He introduced me to his friends and while I was talking to them, a drunk female classmate of his came up to him to borrow a cigarette. She kept touching his arms and chest and after he lent her the cigarette, she gave him a kiss on the face dangerously close to his lips and I got mad. I got mad because I saw the whole thing happening before me (but we were quite a distance apart, so I couldn't pull him away), but he just looked at me like it was nothing while she kissed him and he held his hands up in the air to show that he wasn't touching her and it was her coming onto him. Granted, she was drunk. And granted, it was her coming onto him. But I wished he had stopped her. Later on, I asked why he never stopped her and his reply was "I didn't do anything, she came onto me. You saw that I wasn't touching her." Even if he got caught by surprise, I felt that the kiss was long enough for him to push her away. This whole thing, on hindsight looks so trivial because it is, after all, caused by a drunk girl. But I think it was the fact that he just stood there, letting some drunk girl kiss him that made me angry. Am I being unreasonable here? By the way, he was tipsy when it happened, but he was not drunk and he still takes classes with this girl. He tells me they do not talk to each other though, and these are mandatory classes so it is not as if they planned classes together. It has been months since it happened but I think about it from time to time. I would like to let go of this incident so what can I do? I know it isn't healthy to keep thinking about this incidentP.S. I was cheated in a relationship before, so I think in part, that has given me some trust issues.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 February 2016):
 Yes it has given you trust issues it seems. Please don't compare you getting cheated on to this incident. She kissed him, you saw that yourself. He probably wasn't sure what to do, and lets face it, she was not actually full on snogging him! It sounds to me like this girl might have stunned him and he wasn't sure what to do.
I can understand why this would upset you, but it should be her you are upset with not your boyfriend, he is right he didn't do anything wrong. You cannot hold this against him because it will only make you bitter and it will end the relationship.
You need to ask yourself do you trust him? Has he gave you any reason not to? As for him having classes with this girl, well as long as you trust your man then that is all that matters.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2016): The problem is that you saw it all and now you can replay it in your moments of doubt.it is quite a forward guesture on her part to lunge in for a kiss and it might hint that there was more than friendship.Similarly it could be a ridiculous drunken antic.Your boyfriend could not have pushed her away in case she fell over and I think he was enjoying his moment of charm appeal.But is it a major warning sign?I would hazard a guess that it could be a gusture on her part to show you that she is and the holding up of hands is to imply to you that he is innocent.A whole lot of things go on at uni and maturity isnt top of the list.Perhaps you have friends in common and you can ask them for rumours etc but with such doubts as you have I would pay attention to your friendship groups you already have to see if you want to invest fruther
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