A
female
age
41-50,
*MP
writes:We have been married for 5 yrs now. My husband never flirts with me nor he never takes me out. We always have sex but we have never made love. My husband has got lots of cyber relationships which i have lost count of. Each time i find out we have a big fight and he would promise that he wont do it again but never keeps his word. I want to break up with him but my family is asking me to stay back for the sake of our 2 yr old son. He always tells me that he is doing all these for fun and that he would never leave me and tries to win me back whenever i plan to leave. I want to leave but i don't know how to do it. I find it hard to sleep or do anything properly. Is there any place where i can get help from? I want to feel good again and live a happy life.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): Drag your husband to a marriage counsellor and if that fails, well then rather move on with your life.
Your son would probably benefit from being in an environment where there is no tension and fighting, dont stay together just because of the child!
You husband is making promises then breaking them because he knows that you will always be there and you keep forgiving him.
Its time to take action and do something positive.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (13 October 2009):
 He may be doing all these things for fun, but it's only him that's actually having fun. It's a horrible and selfish thing to do, particularly when there's a child involved. He may have even thought of it as harmless in the beginning, but if you've mentioned it, he should have put at end to that.
Don't be talked in to sticking around just for your child, splitting up would probably be more beneficial. Children pick up on emotions and tension a lot easier than adults give them credit for, and usually a lot quicker than adults even. Staying with someone you don't want to be with will just cause un-needed unhappiness for the child, as no doubt he'll have to listen to arguments.. or end up feeling like he's done something wrong. A lot of children blame themselves for arguments or ill feelings between parents.
It's all good and well him trying to win you back when threatened with a break up.. but this means nothing when he doesn't keep it up afterwards. You've asked for help with a break up.. so it seems you're decided, and I definitely think you'd be doing the right thing in my opinion.
As for places to get help from.. I can't name any off the top of my head. But I'd advise you to talk to your family again, and rather than sounding unsure, tell them you've already decided what you're going to do, and ask them for support rather than for them to try and talk you out of it. You'll almost definitely need your family during this.
Good luck x
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