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anonymous
writes: I have a problem. I'm going out with a lad who I'm absolutely in love with but I find it hard to trust him!! I know he loves me but I get very scared when he goes out round other girls! What do I do?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 March 2005):
 Hi,What you first need to recognise is that the insecurity is coming from you. Your boyfriend is simply going about his life as normal, and your fear is a fear that he'll be lured away by someone "better".You're afraid that he's going to find other girls more attractive and leave you, because somehow you're not worthy of his affection.You say that you know he loves you, and that's a very good start. When you start to scare yourself with the idea of his leaving, remind yourself that he found you attractive when you first met, and that you're still the same woman he loves. Remember that your boyfriend has known hundreds, perhaps thousands, of girls in his life, and yet, he picked YOU.OK, it's true that a lot of relationships fall apart over time, and people do stray from their partners. Maybe your relationship will ultimately succeed and maybe not. But one sure way to kill a spark and suffocate affection from your boyfriend in double-fast time is to try to control his social life, out of fear. If you try to limit his contact with other girls because you think they'll steal him away, he'll very quickly get to resent your attempt to control him, and that will drive him away faster than anything else you could do.So, be brave and trust him. It's the only way to find out if he's actually worthy of your trust and worthy of your love. If you want to have a long-term relationship, trust is an absolutely essential factor.Good luck!
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