A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay when my bf and I are having sex he asks me all the time did you cum, and I tell him that I don't know. And he says how don't you know if you cummed or not, and I say I don't know. He knows that i do cum because he can feel it, but i can never feel that i cum or not. So how can I figure out if I cum or not. Please help! I wanna figure this out bc it's been bugging me for awhile. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, RichieTL40  +, writes (7 October 2015):
Think if you did you would know. Maybe you both need to experiment trying different things and ways
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2015): I didn't have an orgasm until I was 26 because my previous boyfriend never gave me oral sex. Oral sex and a man paying attention to the clitoris is probably the only way most people can have an orgasm, I had one once when I had sex with my current boyfriend but that's kind of rare for anybody.
You know when you orgasm, my legs shake, it's just this amazing feeling that I can't really explain. But if he wants you to have one he needs to try and work on foreplay.
But when a man keeps asking if you're having one/about to have one/had one all the time it's kind of off putting. Well it is to me anyway.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 October 2015):
 80% of women don't orgasm from penetrative sex, but most women CAN orgasm from clitoral stimulation, because THAT is where the nerve-ending are on a woman, not inside the vagina.
I agree that if you can't feel it, it's not happening for you.
My advice? figure out BY yourself what makes your body tick. how fast, what movements etc. gets you an orgasm. Which means - masturbation. Once you know how to get yourself there, you can show it to your BF.
A guy's penis is not some magic wand that makes women orgasm. It's usually a combination with HIS skills/HER skills and the intimacy of the situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2015): O, you will know when you orgazm, believe me. Your boyfriend can't possibly know if you had orgazm or not. If he naively think that you can orgazm from just intercourse he needs to read some info about female body.,
Most women , like 99.9% orgazm from clitoris stimulation, such as oral or with fingers. If he doesn't do it and you don't do it then its not likely you ever had orgasm with him.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 October 2015):
 First off, women don't "cum". We don't ejaculate sperm. We orgasm. And you haven't. It's really like he says, how come you don't know if you've orgasmed or not? Probably because you've never had an orgasm, so how would you know how it feels?
Tell him you aren't "cumming", because if you were, you KNOW. It's an overwhelming feeling that will leave you without any doubt. If he thinks he can feel you orgasming, when you don't feel it yourself, then he's pretty ignorant. But that's probably because he's inexperienced, so don't tell him I said that ;)
Masturbate girl. It's the only way for about 90% of women to reach orgasm.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (5 October 2015):
 can the two of you go for a short interlude for a weekend? Perhaps at a nice secluded place, away from interruptions and turn off your phones too.
Start with a long shower together, that too can help you both get into a relaxed state.
I suggest that you ask your boyfriend to give you 60 minutes of foreplay and request that he completely ignore any of your pleas to move on to penetrative sex.
Ask him to also show that same self control over himself as well.
During the process Do tell him what is really working well for you so that he knows to continue. Give him praise when he manages to arouse you.
He may confuse a very verbal demonstrative response as equating that you reached climax. If that's not how you react then don't try fake it.
He wants to know the authentic you.
But certainly if he is doing very well then do let him know when he is really making the right moves to arouse you.
After 60 minutes of slow deliberate foreplay he should have you ''floating on air'' several times.
He seems a little anxious in that he asks you to validate if you reached climax.
As you mentioned he should be able to feel it.
However maybe he is not feeling the sensation.
For the purpose of this exercise ask him not to pressure you by asking if you have reached orgasm, but instead ask him to pay attention to the foreplay and to becoming more aware of your unique reactions.
Each woman is different, so it's not much use if each describes how you will or should feel, since that may not be how you will feel.
Give your BF some tools before he starts the foreplay such as some appropriate soft music in the background that you really like. Hopefully the venue you choose will have some very fresh white sheets, or maybe satin sheets.
You could have a tray of tools for him, such as a feather for tickling you in some special places.
Also have on hand some nice nibbles that are bite sized (such as fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate, peeled grapes in season).
Plus have a nice body lotion to massage you with or even better something edible to smooth over you that he can lick off.
After 60 minutes of very special foreplay I suspect you'll start to feel some changes starting to happen.
Though you too should respond to all this foreplay, with verbal delight when it's really good, but not enough to distract him from helping you reach a stage where your body wants to reach orgasm.
Hope this helps?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2015): If you cant feel it you are not.
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