A
male
age
41-50,
*js007
writes:How do I know a relationship is right or wrong? I've been with the same girl for 10 years, never felt the urge to cheat or stray, and still don't. However, I would be lying if I said things have been smooth. Sometimes things are rough, in that there is friction and there are fights. Most times things are smooth. Smooth in the sense that I'm happy to see her, be with her, etc.. I don't know if I'm in a right relationship or wrong one and I seem to lack the metrics to measure it! Does anyone have any idea HOW I can do this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, jjs007 +, writes (5 February 2008):
jjs007 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess I just asked because it's headed towards marriage and I don't want to end up making a mistake... or equally likely, mess up her life by marrying her when she could do better elsewhere.
A
female
reader, Serinity  +, writes (5 February 2008):
 Measure with your heart.
Weigh out the pro's and con's here. You've been together for 10 years and other than the occasional argument caused from friction, things seem to be good. That's great! Every healthy relationship is going to have ups and downs, friction and arguments, etc. But if you are still happy to see her and be with her after 10 years and have not and have no desire to be with another woman then I would say you've done well!!!
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (5 February 2008):
 Well your relationship sounds fine and dandy to me. We all have rough patchs in even the most perfect of things and to me that doesnt make them shaky. I think there is something of a myth that true love is smooth and has no kinks in the road but if you watch a movie then there is always that awkward will they wont they middle bit. I cant help wondering why you are asking this question; if there is something that has made you ask it here and now or it is just that you are too settled and are undermining things in your own head without a specific reason??
You say 'Smooth in the sense that I'm happy to see her, be with her, etc..' what other sense is there to be smooth in? Are you happy?? Relationships are not a science that you can objectively measure, partly they are but they are mostly about feeling and are the science of the subjective. I dont feel qualified to provide you with benchmarks and tests to give your relationship an OK, I think you need to look deep within yourself and if you are really truly content then I would say then this is most definatly right for you. Good luck.
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