A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I know if I still love him? I've been with my current boyfriend for just over two years. It's been rough, with him moving out of state for school, coming home breaking up with me, going back to school, and comeing home and getting back together with me, through all that I always knew I loved him. I admit I've made some mistakes, some he knows about some he doesn't. I've had sex with two other guys during our relationship, but it didn't feel right and I hated myself so I stoped part way in to sex with both of them. It's been over two months since I've done anything like that with anyone except my boyfriend, and I still feel awful about it. However to the problem at hand, for the past couple weeks I've been feeling really low, deppressed when I'm around him or alone, and wanting to cry about everything, nothing seems to be going right, and things he does have started to bother me more than usual, for example his smoking used to bother me, now however it's worse I find myself avoiding being close to him when I can smell it on him, and not wanting to kiss him. We moved in together in January, and at the time it bothered me that our room was a mess because of clothing not put away, and things like that now I just feel like I want to cry when I go into my room and it's so messy. I loved him even when he was far away, now that we live together shouldn't I be happier? Shouldn't I know without a doubt that I want to live with him forever? Or was it just that I had to try to spend time with him and now that I don't the "fun" has worn off?
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (14 June 2011):
 It sounds like you were more in love with the IDEA/FANTASY of a relationship than the reality of it.
Now you have discovered you are not that compatible.
Relationships are NOT always going to be fun, they DO take work. Moving in together does not FIX incompatibility.
Best Wishes.
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