A
female
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anonymous
writes:Ok so my question may not be all that serious or big, but I think if I dont make the right decision now, it may turn into a bigger problem later down the track...I have this friend who I am pretty sure likes me alot! And I am def attracted to him and I think I like him too...Hes invited me to a new years party and I'm not sure if i should go cause i feel something might happen, for example the traditional kiss at midnight.The thing is, despite me knowing he likes me, i have no idea if he is looking for a gf or just somoene to casualy date...I am not looking to casually date anyone...i want a relationship. So I guess what i fear is, going to his new years party, kissing him and i hoping that it means something to him when really it may not mean anything at all.The last guy i dated stuffed me around a fair bit, he knew i didnt want anything casual and that i was only interested in going out with a guy who wanted a relationship sometime...he told me he wanted that at first then after 1 week changed his mind. My friend knows about this and he told me that that guy was soo silly for letting me go and he bets he regrets it too. So from my friend saying that, do you think maybe he isnt just looking for a fling or for someone to just date non exclusivly? He knows my stand point because ive always had the same one my whole life and i have just volunteered that info...he wouldnt go for me if his views and wants were different would he? thats what i thought with the last guy i dated, and he still went for me though. so im very confused. So I guess what i want to know is how can i tell what he wants? how do i go about finding it out? how do i talk to him about it? and when? I have known him for about 5 months, i am 18 and he is 19. thanks for the help guys!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007): Look I went into ALL of my relationships not knowing what THEY wanted. Everybody does. Sure I guess in a way its a risk. But its a risk NOT because they might not want a relationship but ONLY because they just might not like you.
Let me tell you something about MOST guys (and SOME women too), they don't go around thinking "oh I want a relationship." And then take whatever they can get. They just don't. No guy, unless he is desperate, thinks that way.
What they DO think is something like this "IF I am lucky enough to meet someone who rocks my world THEN I want a relationship with HER." Just with HER. It doesn't matter, he could be a player, he could be single and happy, it doesn't matter the circumstance. If he is smitten, he WILL choose you over the single life.
So don't ever buy the line of "oh I just don't want a relationship." It's not true. It just means that he does not want a relationship with YOU.
So the ball is in your court honey. Go rock his world and make him want you.
A
female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp  +, writes (18 December 2007):
 Well you can't judge him by your last boyfriend's standards can you? Just because he let you go after a week doesn't necessarily mean this guy will. Take a chance! If you don't take any risks in this life, what are you living for? If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out but at least you can say you've tried. Don't cower away just because of what the last guy did. He sounds like a jerk and this new guy sounds like he genuinely likes you, so go for it! Kiss him at midnight if you want to but if you do maybe later on you should have a chat with him and there's nothing wrong with being completely honest is there? Just tell him how you feel. You're both adults. He won't laugh in your face if he doesn't feel the same. Good luck girl!
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