A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It seems like all the guys I date just use me. Now I have a hard time trusting guys and always think they are going to use me. How can I trust guys again and How do I know if a guy really likes me for who I am? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (31 May 2009):
Ive been in the same position as you before.
What Ive learnt is that users wont typically stick around for too long if they wont get what they want quickly. Trust is earnt over time, so a decent guy will wait around and put in the hard effort to earn your trust. He wont expect you to trust him straight up from the beguining and he wont expect you to make any physical commitment such as sex until you are ready. So if you want to test to see if a guy will use you, say no to sex (and anything else guys use you for!) and say you would like to wait till you both know each other better and tell him you will let him know when you are ready. That way he has no excuse to keep asking you for it, which can be a form of pressure. If he asks you about it still not long after or pressurs you in anyway, such as through guilt then you know he would of just used you.
How long do you wait? Well thats really up to you. Some guys who are users will be more willing then others to stick around longer, just depends on the guy himself. However, his reaction to you saying no, and his behaviours following that, should give you a good clue of what hes really interested in.
Hope this has helped!!!
A
female
reader, im.here.to.help.xxx  +, writes (31 May 2009):
You can trust guys again but just make sure that he understands you and you are friends. Boys that use other girls usually just like them for certain things, maybe your really pretty or have a nice body. Just make sure you can say NO and let boys know you are not easy because if you give that impression they will date you for one thing only, and then they will dump you and that is the worst thing. Always make sure that you can trust a boy and he can trust you before you so anything together. I hope my advice helped ! :) x
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