A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When you have sex with a man that's married, how do you know if it meant more then sex? I asked him, and he said it meant more than just sex, but how do i know for sure? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 I'm a married man who cheats on his deeply lovely wife. The man that you slept with has no idea himself whether it is about more than just the sex. Neither of you will know until you try not having sex for a while and see whether the relationship has any other foundations.
As an aside to Sandman, I basically agree with your conclusions that this lady is far better off not being involved with a married man, however your 1, 2, 3, & 4 are far from inevitable. I have certainly never said nor thought any of those things.
There is a fine quote from James Goldsmith (who knew what he was talking about) "When a man marries his mistress, it creates a job opening". In other words a man who you met whilst he was cheating on his wife is going to cheat on you - almost guaranteed - and it will be easier for him because deep down in his twisted mind you have accepted his cheating behavior.
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 Sorry sweetie, no matter what stories the married man told you... it was just sex. If you want to know if it meant something, ask him to leave his wife for you......
Honeygirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): Ask his wife to enlighten you. I'm quite sure his actions will speak for themself as he drops you like hot coal and begs for his wifes forgiveness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): There is no way to know (especially with a married guy), this question is asked about a lot of guys though.
Its really hard to tell if its just sex or if he is actually into you and cares about you in other ways. I think it all depends on what you guys do other than sex. Does he treat you well? Have you done anything else since you had sex? Does he look bored when you try and do something other than sex? Or does he look forward to his time with you?
The answer to these questions will lead you to the answer to your question?
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A
male
reader, Sandman  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 Well, you won't know unless you ask. And you did ask - and in my opinion (JUST my opinion) he gave you answer you needed to give him more. He's married. So while it might feel like it meant more, it could have been just what it was, sex.
Think about it.
Most often, person A is seeing a married person B - and person A is told by person B that they are:
1. Unhappy in their marriage
2. Not being shown love in their marriage
3. Preparing to leave their spouse or going through a divorce.
4. Are going to leave their spouse for person A.
In most cases, person B never does either 3 or 4. 1 or 2 might be true, but why are they seeking the company of others instead of fixing what is broken in their current relationship.
If you continue to see this man, I can almost guarantee frustration and a broken heart. I believe there are very few cases in which person A finally gets person B and lives happily ever after. The reason is because person B never intended on being faithful to you - person B showed you that when they were married.
Do yourself a favor. Demand more for yourself and find someone who is not in a committed relationship. Find someone you can truly give your all to - someone you can truly love and receive love back. When you find that someone, you won't have to guess how much they mean to you.
Hope this helps.
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