A
male
age
36-40,
*lo Jack
writes:Hi there folks. I'm going crazy over here 'cause it seems that whenever I REALLY like someone (like her in a gf kind of way) I mess it up in some unknown, mysterious way. Other girls I'll have no problem, I'll half-ass it and still have something with them (maybe that's why?), but whenever there's someone I actually consider relationship material...forget it. I'm at the end of my rope here. I'm young, rich, have a fancy degree, apparently women find me attractive...yet I can't seem to get the girls I actually want relationships with! I wanna have something meaningful with someone I actually like, for once! Consider this situation:So I basically met this girl during a big game night with my friends...a friend of a friend had invited her over...since the moment I saw her I was transfixed...she was just what the doctor had ordered! I was in some swank night club wearing a ratty tshirt and sneakers, had come straight out of work (which involved a lot of field work that day) hadn't shaved or gotten a haircut in a while, was well on the way to a second six pack when she arrived...which made it all the more surprising when we ended up dancing all night long...dirty dancing, as a matter of fact! We hopped around bars, holding hands and stuff...she was curious as to whether I had a girlfriend...I chalked it up to my inherent animal magnetism (yeah right)...I asked her for her number twice, once when we were dancing and once again at the end of the night (I was too much of a wuss to move in for a kiss)...both times she said that she'd rather we met up during another night out with our friends, but the second time she told me to ask our mutual friend for it...seemed like she was blowing me off but ok...I waited like a week and a half to ask for her number...but the guy didn't give it to me! At this point I decided to cut my losses and forget about her......that is until a month later, when she showed up during our friend's birthday party. She seemed real happy to see me, and after I played it cool for a while, she even seemed to be going out of her way to grab my attention! We ended up dancing until the wee hours of the morning...I said some corny shit I now regret to her, but it didnt seem to faze her, there was some hand caressing going on...at the end of the night she gave me her number...things were looking good!I was busy (with work...and another girl!) during the entire next week, so I couldn't text her until a week later...for a couple of days i was making her laugh, the conversation seemed to be heating up...until this 1 day where she started asking me when were we gonna go out to celebrate a work milestone of mine...i ignored her question until the second time she asked me so i texted her..."well...thursdays a good day to celebrate"...and...this is where it gets weird.She basically told me to wait until next week cause she was going on a trip for "2 weeks"...I jokingly asked her where she was going ("nudie beach or something?") and she didn't wanna tell me...2 days later i texted her to see what was up and she didnt reply (i could tell her she could see text messages cause this was all on whatsapp)...it's already been a week and no answer.So...what I wanna know is...what did i do wrong..cause i dont wanna keep on messing up like this with girls i like! It's not like I was clingy or anything. About the only things that seem egregiously wrong are the 2-3 corny compliments i told her...but she seemed to like those! What was I supposed to say when she asked me out? "You're ugly and I hate you"??? What the hell??? Am I going to freakin' die alone here????
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male
reader, Flo Jack +, writes (26 December 2013):
Flo Jack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSTATUS UPDATE: Hmm, first off, merry christmas guys. K, so this girl I'm talking about said that she wanted to see me and give me a christmas hug after i texted her a simple "merry xmas" (don't look at me weird; round here where we live the norm is to spend christmas eve with family until midnight and then it's party time). I, being a weak, weak man (and certainly tantalized by the prospect of christmas lovin') went ahead and agreed.
We couldnt find a place to party at (on account of it being christmas) so I pretty much ended picking her up at the party she was at and just driving her around for a while...the snogging i thought was forthcoming never happened and i gave her a flower i found in a vase at my house (as an xmas gift)...which she seemed to like. I didnt want to push her into kissing me or anything cause i didnt wanna come across as too rape-y...keep in mind i have like, zero game.
The funny stuff happened until the next day, when i casually checked my messenger contact list and noticed that she had updated her profile pic with some treacly love message someone who wants to snog her (or IS snogging her) sent her.
So the question is, what the hell is it about me that makes the women I like treat me like a toy? Maybe I just tend to go after b*tches? Anyone? I mean, I really don't mind her seeing someone else (we're not an item or anything)...but to rub it in my face like that, I mean, what's the point, if not to play stupid games?
A
male
reader, Flo Jack +, writes (24 December 2013):
Flo Jack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the feedback, guys. Well WiseOwlE you do have some points in there...since I've been trying to do the whole 'girlfriend/boyfriend' approach it's only natural to expect things to unfurl slowly now isn't it...problem is, that doesn't really account for her sudden heating up (and just as sudden cooling down) now doesn't it, when all i can think of having done 'wrong' is not having contacted her for 2 days...or maybe it's because i've actually moved too slow? She did want to see me the day after our first date remember...What I'd really like to learn is how to respond in situations like these, where there's a dramatic cool-off after things seemed to be red hot (other than prevent it from happening)...I know I'm supposed to 'play it cool' and not get emotional about it, taking things as though we're friends ('you wouldn't get mad at your friend for not answering his phone now would you') but what am I supposed to do when she starts to consistently ignore your phone calls and messages? Isn't pretending that everything is all right just making me seem like a pushover?PS - she did return the call to call off our date 'coz it was getting late' after the last message...this is what i mean, for our first date she actually insisted on me picking her up really really late into the night, while she was the one frantically making contact...one week later and it's the opposite situation, even after we've had 3 great dates; she did reschedule for thursday, but i can't help feeling like i sounded a bit terse there (yes I can't help it I'm not freaking James Bond ok?)...i told her that i wasn't sure i'd be here on THU-which is true-so i'd call her up on it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2013): I think you get really excitable, and don't understand her quirks. I think you need to chill out like I suggested to you before. You want a girlfriend; but what you're forgetting to do, is allow the courtship to progress. You get to know the girl. That applies to any girl.
You want immediate gratification and guaranteed results.
Don't we all?
In love, things don't play out like a carefully configured business-plan. Things go awry, and you get pissed. All because things didn't happen as you wanted them to. You can't make projections or meet deadlines.
Then you shake your hands in frustration like a little boy having a tantrum, and scream foul; because the girls you like don't like you back. That's called the process of elimination. You keep digging until you strike gold.
You met in a club, so you're dealing with a party-girl. Not the girl next-door. So most of your connection to this woman has been centered around the party-scene.
Do you see where I'm driving at? You meet the hottest people at parties and clubs; but girlfriends and wives are usually found under more serene conditions. So you think you look hot in your work clothes and five o'clock shadow. You still got a girl. She was attracted to your animal magnetism beneath the rough and unpolished exterior.
I'm taking this all from your own words. So sue me.
Why are you calling her a control freak? Her time and efforts are just as important as yours. She's independent and not so impressed by all your self-proclaimed "great boyfriend" qualities. She's a woman! She first has to put you through the paces to see whether you're chasing the girl, or what's in her pants.
You're idolizing her and trying to place her up on a pedestal; because she's hot. You want to establish who's going to be boss in the relationship. There is no relationship; so your expectations are of no consequence to her.
She's still figuring out what's likeable beyond your hotness. She hasn't come to any conclusion; because you haven't really had enough time aside together. She's single and used to guys chasing her. Girlfriend material?
Maybe that's not the kind of girl you have on your hands.
It so early in your acquaintance that nothing is conclusive, accept you don't like her messaging habits. Nothing has even begun. She went away, she's back, and you're all girly-boy about it. Chill!
Keep your calm through the tempest; let her show her quirks and use your logic and sense of navigation to plot your way aound the "crazy lady" stunts. She may not want to be your girlfriend; just your favorite date. Take this into serious consideration. It's not a bad option. You have to practice dealing with female quirks, and she's perfect for the position.
Why don't you just admit you got all bent out of shape; because she didn't text you back? Dude, that's soooo like a girl! You saw another lady who sparked your interest; suddenly this just ain't working out, and you're shipwrecked? Leaving yourself an opening to bail out.
So male, and quite convenient!
You say the transitions don't workout?
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO!!!
I was right. You are a little narcissistic. You like someone. You hardly know her, yet she's driving you insane.
Only because she doesn't settle into your mold for a girlfriend. She refuses to be predictable, and she won't play by the rules you write.
Then stop writing rules, and play it by ear.
I know, we're guys. We use logic and reason. Emotional things defy those senses; so we get lost in the fog.
My advice. Don't be so serious, just enjoy her when you see her. Keep your feelings on reserve; and be prepared to get out of the kitchen, if you can't take the heat.
You want a trophy girlfriend; then you're going to have to put up your best game. Be a man about it and stop whining.
Ha ha...thought I was going to cut you some slack didn't you?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 December 2013):
 It sounds like you aren't compatible due to texting differences. I would let this relationship sink under the weight of unanswered texts and unmet expectations.
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A
male
reader, Flo Jack +, writes (24 December 2013):
Flo Jack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHa! Well the ship has chartered new waters on this whole situation...only to strand itself once again on a different rock...how? Read on to find out...After the 2 week limit she had mentioned was over, I texted her (because why the hell not?)...which ended up with us going on a date...and pretty much hitting it off! Well, I say 'hitting it off' because this girl was showing a massive amount of interest on me...so much so in fact that it was starting to freak me out...for example, the day after our first date she called me twice and texted me thrice because she was near my home and wanted to see me...i was out with friends at the time so i couldnt comply...any day that there'd be radio silence on my part she'd eventually text me or something usually coming short of explicitly asking why i hadnt texted her...well the point is, we went on 3 dates on the span of 5 days...things were looking good...that is until...She had been the one who set up our third date...ish get-together...she called me and texted me asking whether I was available to go out with her and her friends...I wasn't, as a matter of fact but i did tell her that if i got out of my appointment early I'd be happy to take her up on it...The engagement did end somewhat early...i was there, ruminating on whether i should call the girl or not ('cause "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and all that) when she actually rang me up at 11 30 PM, saying that she was bored and lonely in the club and wanted me there...sensing a booty call type situation (sorry but thats what it looked like to me!), i was quick to comply...Well, it certainly wasnt a booty call situation (and the much expected kiss wasn't forthcoming) but did we spend the night together, dancing and joking...The next two days she was out of town so I decided to let things cool off a bit ("absence makes the heart etc")...no texts or calls from my part...but then i noticed...none from her end either...the day that she had said she'd arrive, I texted and called her once in the afternoon to set up a date...she didnt reply until the next morning..we texted back and forth for a while, i told her i wanted to see her in the afternoon, she said that she'd call back to confirm...aaand she didnt do that either.Ok, so my 3 theories on this new ordeal are these1) She's somewhat of a control freak and is p*ssed off because i didnt call her while she was away2) Her friends present during our 3d date(2 of which were guys, the others were 1 really hot girl which i had met alongside her and a drunk girl) told her something about me (remember that i'm a bit weird and introverted...sexy, but weird) which put her off me, effectively cockblocking me3)I have a grievously thin skin and sh*t like this gets to me waaay too easilySo, forumites, your take?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 December 2013):
 I'm having a hard time figuring out why a man who values his PRIVACY and needs his space feels the NEED to give his phone number out to women. The two do not go hand in hand to be honest.
I think that you go after the clingy girls so you can get laid and that was all well and good when you didn't want to settle down but now you want a "real" girlfriend and your "tried and true" methods of getting laid no longer serve your purpose.
You probably need to listen to what we said earlier on and revamp your ways in order to find a suitable long term partner.
and yes to be honest you may have to suffer a short period of celibacy. I promise it won't kill you.
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A
male
reader, Flo Jack +, writes (8 December 2013):
Flo Jack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, Tisha, this may add even more fuel to the whole "man-whoring" thing, but I pretty much give it to them. Now, I will probably come across like an asshole for saying this but I'm a very private person...I need my space, I don't like being constantly smothered, so when a girl comes and after about a week's worth of relationship says that she wants to have my baby...well the usual reaction goes double for me. Now you'll probably say, don't go after girls who'll plead for a baby of yours after the first week. Problem is, if i didn't go after said girls, I'd live in a celibate wasteland of a life.Come to think of it, that's one of the things I really liked about that girl who broke my heart. She was the complete opposite of 'smothering'...now in retrospect it could've been due to the fact that she really didn't care for me but oh well.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 December 2013):
How do those clingy girls get your number to text?
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A
male
reader, Flo Jack +, writes (7 December 2013):
Flo Jack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, for the extra feedback. *WiseOwle*, you mentioned that you were a hardass on your first post. Well, that's always you (you had counseled me in a previous post). Might consider chilling out a bit there, man. BTW, I did ask her for her number while we were daggering or whatever the young people call it. Her reluctance,later acquiescence and even latter rejection just make me think I'm in this world for girls to mess with...
So the general consensus is that i screwed this up by not being direct, or forthcoming enough. Well...in my (additional) defense I'll say that I'm just acting based on what's been used on ME! Meaning, clingy girls who are constantly messaging me get old, quickly...while that sneaky lil' number who strategically delays her texts for maximum impact or whatever...DAMN! That's the one I'll end up sleeplessly tossing and turning over for.
Well...if this girl never contacts me again, I'll try the whole 'direct' thing on the next GF candidate I find. Problem is, those are so really, REALLY painfully freakin' hard to come by for me, because I actually DO take relationships seriously...not gonna go through all that hard work for someone I don't care about. Believe it or not, but I could easily have been MARRIED at least thrice over by now...just haven't found the right girl, and every day it just seems less and less likely that I'll ever find her (and what's worse, if I do I'm afraid I'll probably mess it up)...sigh
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2013): Dude, I might have been a little rough on you from the start.I see the ladies are giving you some tough-love; now here's a little encouragement from a fellow bro.As the ladies have very articulately explained, you can't keep them waiting to let them know that you like them. You can't show your interest as an after-thought. Delay, even to you, would come across like; oh well...here's a memo just to let you know you might not be at the top of the list; but be happy that you made the list at all. I didn't mean to take the wind out of your sails; because confidence can be interpreted by different people different ways. You worked hard to reach your level of success; therefore, you must exude some pride and confidence. So perhaps I shouldn't have stabbed at your confidence; but just suggested you let some of your humble side come through. Just as you mentioned hanging out in plain work clothes. It has to be reflective more in your behavior and attitude. That's how I should have put it, in hindsight.The lady saw you as you are, without all the polish and gloss-over. She took you at face-value. That said a lot about how much she liked what she saw. Don't lose your shine. That's what all your hard work is all about. Don't expect too much too soon; and don't hold back too long when you approach a good prospect.I thought it was strange that you asked a friend for her number; when you had the opportunity to ask her straight up; even before grinding all up on her body. She threw out all the signals she likes the whole package. You missed every one. You were caught up in your own awesomeness.This hot chic really digs all this!!! It happens to all of us. You dropped the ball. You didn't strike while the iron was hot.Maybe that's it. You miss their signals; because you're preoccupied trying to be noticed, and establishing who'll be in charge. That comes across as condescending and too aggressive. Judge each woman on her individual merit, and personality; not by what you've seen in other women. Paranoia and categorizing will make you look foolish and inexperienced. It takes practice to develop this skill.I think the ladies have given you a lot to think about. You don't have to pander to any woman's ego; nor do you have to clobber her over the head and drag her by the hair. What comes to you instinctively in the presence of a great woman will most likely work for you when the right one comes along. She'll tame the beast in you. Just be alert and appreciative of her attention. Reward her with yours.Enjoy being young and free. Spending time with different types until you find the right fit. Sand down the rough edges that you consciously know aren't working to your benefit. I think you have the right string; but you just got to tweak your yo-yo. The transition gets easier when you've found the "right lady." That's most of the problem. You haven't yet.Being a sappy wimp isn't manly, that goes without saying. You can incorporate all the advice the ladies have given you; but you don't have to take it all too literally. They all have what they may consider the ideal man-type; but we have to be ourselves, and not try to be something contrived out of a fairytale. Most women don't like the type of guy they consider the ideal man. If they did, they wouldn't be so attracted to just the opposite. Just as we were given fact and theory in college; we can only make practical use of the knowledge, when we understand when and where it is applicable. If it doesn't work for you, keep practicing until you find the right approach.Good luck! I hope something I've offered helps.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 December 2013):
Flo Jack, you are the one using the term man-whore. I tried to give you the situation from her perspective.
What other girls did or didn't do doesn't matter with this particular girl. If you react to her with the pasts from other girls lingering in your mind, you are going to mess it up, because you are bringing your old baggage to the new situation.
She was a clean slate, knew you only through how you interacted with her. She is not your exes, she was herself.
Here are your takeaways for the next time: (You asked "what I wanna know is…what did i do wrong..cause i dont wanna keep on messing up like this with girls i like!")
Don't wait a week or longer to text a girl you are really interested in. She will assume you aren't interested.
If you are too busy to text or date a girl then don't bother to get her number, that'll seem rude to her when you don't use it.
If you want to go out with her, don't ignore her blatant suggestions about taking her out on a date.
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A
male
reader, Flo Jack +, writes (6 December 2013):
Flo Jack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the ongoing feedback girls. Well, so you're saying that I subconsciously act like a manwhore. Well, in my defense, there were practical considerations that can explain that (like the fact that i used to live elsewhere on weekdays). Why text her, if I would much rather ask her out and THEN hear from her...in person?
Apart from that, I've done the whole non-manwhore thing and it just led to...neverending pain and heartache for me. I would much rather not play games in these situations but you've gotta admit, sometimes a little bit of that is necessary to gain some control. The last time I DIDN'T play games the girl I was chasing just...she just did whatever she pleased, whenever she pleased. I really cared for her and all her game playing just tore me up inside but she didn't give a f---, she kept leading me on and on, to the point that I thought that so much time had gone by that there HAD to be something there, no woman was crazy/evil enough to toy with someone for so long. Suffice it to say, not a good experience.
There's also the matter of the two long term relationships I've been in...I got there through my usual manwhorish ways! That way the girls were devoted to me, I had control over the situation, and no, this didnt mean I cheated on these girls or mistreated them...when it was over, it was over, none of that cheating BS. Call me evil or whatever but I want THAT...only with a girl who's like what I mentioned before.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 December 2013):
From her perspective:
I met a guy at a friend's party, he was fun and cute, he asked for my number but I wasn't sure about him. When I asked if he had a girlfriend, the way he answered indicated he may not have an official girlfriend, but he definitely has some girl FRIENDS (in the *wink wink* kind of way). So I figured if we saw each other again and I learned a bit more about him, maybe something would develop.
I told him to ask Dwight for the number if he wanted it, and when I checked back with Dwight after a week, he hadn't heard from Flo Jack, I figured he wasn't all that interested in me, that it was a one night bit of flirting for him.
Cut to a month later, we run into each other again. He acts standoffish, he doesn't seem as interested so I flirt a bit harder to get his attention, and I do. He says some sweet things about me and this time, when he asks for my number, I give it to him.
An entire week goes by. Not a call, not a text that would take 60 seconds to write and send. Nada. Zippo. Bupkis. Zero.
So obviously, he's not Mr. Right, he's Mr. Right Now. If it's out of sight, for him, it's out of mind. I'll be he was busy with the other women in his life and I was low low loooowwwww priority.
Anyhoo, after a week, he breaks radio silence and starts up a cute text convo. Lots of texts, lots of chatting but he didn't ask me out, didn't make plans, so again, I see, I'm a low priority and he's with Miss Right Now and too busy for me. He'd hinted a lot about a big work thing and I had suggested we go out to celebrate. Does he figure out that it's now time for him to ask me out? Why, no, no he doesn't. He flakes out again and ignores it. I have to ask him AGAIN and then he gets flakier and mumbles some crap about Thursday. Obviously, I am not qualified for a weekend date.
Enough, I think, I'm off on my trip and I don't have time to deal with a flake. I let him know that and he makes some idiotic comment about nude beaches.
Flo Jack, you blew it, dude, I was into you but then you played cute texting games while I know you were busy with other women. You are Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Right, all of your actions showed that.
---signed, the girl who got tired of you playing games
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 December 2013):
answering a text message timely and the first time you are asked is not spouting off deep commitment vows... its' being focused, on task and in the moment.
You are playing games. Truly. You don't think you are but you are.
IF you REALLY like someone, there is no crime in being PROMPT and polite.
Also while the youth of today often say that "text messaging is how we communicate" a PHONE call works MUCH better for asking for a date.
How about you find a lady you like and you are YOURSELF with her and not put too much THOUGHT into when you should or should not reply and what you should say... do not overthink this.. BE YOURSELF.
note you were totally yourself when you met this woman... you were TRUE to yourself because you were having fun.
continue to have fun
but stop playing games.
if you like her tell her
if you like her ask her out
if you ask for her number and she says "ask a friend" THEN DO IT RIGHT THEN AND THERE and let her know the next day you have it and are now ready to commence "getting to know you"
waiting a week... yeah I'd think you were a player too... you sure come across as one in your original post.
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A
male
reader, Flo Jack +, writes (5 December 2013):
Flo Jack is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the feedback, guys. I know I may come across as conceited, but I just mention that stuff 'cause I wanna get across the fact that I think that my failure to find love is down to some 'head' thing and not me being an unconfident derelict hobo or something like that. In person I'm actually quite introverted, somewhat shy and 'eccentric'...add that to my being male and you've got just about the worst thing possible when it comes to the whole "not leading a lonely goddamn miserable life of solitude" thing. Maybe that's why I came across as overcompensating. I don't really think that I "deserve" some "trophy woman" for my "inherent awesomeness" (notice the quotation marks)...I just think that I have what it takes to get that fun, smart, independent, open-minded (and OK...cute) girl I've always wanted as a gf...but so very freakin far, things haven't played out that way (it's always either an extremely clingy girl, a one off thing or someone who's just playing me). A thing that I really liked about this girl is that she seemed to like me in a ratty look and without knowing anything about that conceited stuff i mentioned so...yeah. I mean I certainly don't go around bragging about what i do for a living while wearing the workplace duds to pick up "chicks" or anything like that (unlike some of my douchier counterparts.)
You also say that I haven't been 'serious' enough with this girl. But isn't that what you're supposed to do at the beginning stages of courtship? Take it easy, I mean, gauge each other's compatibility before spouting off deep commitment vows. Besides, if anything i was the more commited one, always asking her for her number, doing gentlemanly stuff for her, the occasional compliment...and that whole "ask twice" thing took place within like, a minute during a single chat session; that's why her sudden about face seemed so random.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2013): I think she probably senses the games you are playing with her and girls really hate that. You say you really like her but you wait a week to text her because you're with another girl?! You want to go out with her but you make her ask you twice before you accept the offer (in a half assed way no less)? She can see right through you my friend, and she's totally playing you at your own game! From her point of view you have not once showed her you are interested. Do you think she should be chasing you? Because that's not likely! If you like her ASK HER OUT at a firm time and place and stop messing about with these games. It's a complete turn off.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2013): You're a bit conceited, and have a strong sense of entitlement.She isn't your girlfriend, and has no obligation to tell you where she is going, or why. She will get back to you when she's good and ready. Chill out! Do you see the error of this behavior when you go back and read that paragraph in your post? Step out of yourself, and review past failures. What is it that is consistent?Your description of yourself comes off a bit narcissistic.Calm down, bro! That's something women pickup quickly. They think you're luring them with the fact you're supposedly "rich, have a fancy degree, apparently women find you attractive."Seriously!? Lay it all out there, dude! Don't dangle a carrot in-front of women, and tell them what they could be missing. It sounds like over-compensation. Know what I mean?They see that as a red-flag warning. The archaic phrase..."I bet you say that to all the girls!...comes to mind. They are not impressed with what you have, unless you got the personality to back it up. Women are just as educated and successful as any man these days, and don't need you to run your profile on them to get attention.Over-confidence sends off alarms!They like a confident guy who just comes across real and sincere. You are not guaranteed to impress every woman you think should realize your potential. If they don't show immediate enthusiasm, I'm sure they answer for it.So you get the girls who like you superficially easily; because of a gold-digger attitude, and a craving for a taste of your bank account. I'm sure your cuteness comes across. However; size still counts. *wink* They like to be wined and dined, and lap it up like a starving kitty for a saucer of warm milk. They leave when the saucer is empty.You don't know how to tone it down when you find girlfriend material. You use the same bait to catch different kinds of fish. No pun intended here!You get their attention. Then you probably go into your usual performance to impress them. It starts out nice; but then you forget to add the most important element...how seriously do you like them? They want to know what makes them special above all others. "Rich" guys presume the choice is all theirs to be made. Even a trophy-wife will size you up. If she has your attention, she can easily get it elsewhere. Goes two-ways bud! You stress them out with overkill. You probably make them feel like they're lucky to know you. You go overboard showing them what a good catch you are. You present them with all your probable financial success and potential; but less the sincerity and emotional aspect women look for. A date to you is like wooing a business prospect, or campaign for a big contract. You are a bit over-practiced at it; and forget when to turn it off. DON'T SELL YOURSELF LIKE A COMMODITY!!!They write you off as a self-impressed narcissist.You bragged about your animal attraction even when you were scruffy and in a dingy tee-shirt. As a gay man, all that's cool. Hot even. However; it's what's beneath the surface that women need. What we all need! Keeping you around for the stretch is what they are about. Not until you bore with them. Do you get it?How would I know? Don't stereotype,man. I have plenty of experience. More with women than men in my younger years.I now accept that I have a much stronger attraction to men. My success with women is awesome. Even now! That comes across a bit conceited, does it not? I've made my point.
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