A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guysI have seen that I am good at talking to women and teasing them and doing all the push and pull thing. Some of my female friends actually think I am good at it. However in most cases its later on that after I have made the initial rapport that I find it hard to close the deal and make the woman feel at ease as I gain her confidence. What do I say/do to make it go the mile? Any tips !! Hope to get some help on this.Thx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 Hmmm this made me think...really it did.
Talking, teasing, push and pull? Sorry but I am not surprised you can't 'close the deal'...because it's not a deal...it's a relationship.
The mistake a lot of people make is to thrash about, being charming, making their move, seeking approval from their friends when really they have no clue about relationships and what they involve.
Women in general don't give a hoot about the 'push and pull' or the 'talking and teasing'. A guy using those tactics will never get far because thats not what it's about.
You should probably focus on yourself, pursue your interests, hobbies and take care of yourself because then you will be interesting and have something to make you attractive.
When you do see a girl you like, get to know her gradually, take time to find out her interests and build up a friendship. If she appears to like you, maybe suggest going on a date and if you like her and she likes you, the relationship will gain momentum.
All women are different and live their lives in many different ways but every woman wants a man who wants her and nobody else and treats her like nobody else.
I think your approach is all wrong. You cannot apply one set of rules and behaviours to all women and just hope to get a catch. You have to identify exactly who you want and make that person the object of your affection and attention. It takes time and effort to get to know someone and there are many pitfalls along the way. You also need to learn to read peoples reactions to your approach so you don't come off like a jerk.
Be relaxed and be yourself, even if your a little shy or unsure, putting on a false front is useless because women are super perceptive and will spot a fake.
The best way to make a woman feel at ease is to be yourself and not try too hard.
Good luck.
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