A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 , my boyfriend is 28 ..He tells his mom eveything , and we've had a few problems well we've been together 5 months he's been living w/ me for 3. Now we live together in Our apartment . His mom is very Business like . Im scared that iiL say the wrong thing or do something unworthy . By the way me and Him are Complete opposites .. He's nice , Respectful , Mannerable , Quiet ; When iiM Mean ,DisRepectful (Not on Purpose) ,Rude , and Talkative .. I need help big time .. This could be the determine our Relationship outcome and ii really wanna spend the rest of my life w/ this man ! How should I act , dress , think , when ii meet his mother . Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (10 March 2011):
 Lot of random capital letters there...
Anyway, businesslike people respect other businesslike people. And in business, you don't succeed by kissing butt, you succeed by being respectable and self-assured. Dress modestly (in particular, take out any piercings and cover any tattoos), act politely (don't curse, argue, or shout), and don't beg for approval (by lying or doing anything obviously fake).
You say you're mean and disrespectful? Well, first off, change that. At first, you just have to change it when you're around his mom, but ultimately you'll be better off if you fix that part of your personality. It's not strong, it's annoying. Go to charm school if you have to.
There is one aspect of the Type-A personality you seem to have which you should keep, however, especially around his mom. That's real confidence - not seeking her approval, merely presenting yourself in the best light and allowing the other person to form their opinions. No one likes approval-seekers, any more than they like confrontational or rude people.
Show up, be polite, and respect her and her opinion of you. Trust yourself to put on your best face, on desreving of a good opinion; trust her to form an accurate opinion of you, good or bad. Work with that.
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