A
female
age
,
*nna03
writes:My kids are really having a hard time dealing with Daddy moving out. The hard part on finding advice is up until the day he moved out we were clueless that there was a problem. We were not fighting. Every morning he said I love you. I thought and therefore my children. We were a happy family. Surprise one day he announces he has had a girlfriend for 6 months and is leaving. This happened on the same day I found out I have a chronic disease. My disease is manageable with treatment. But treatment is expensive and painful. I am dealing with it O.K. My kids who are adopted are having problems. Anger, questions I have any answers for and he doesn't answer. Kids cry and act out. He says he loves them and wants to see them. But is very busy. With school and his work he sees them like once every week. He never calls them. Is that normal? Just want to help my kids through this.
View related questions:
I love you, moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Anna, your husband took the cowards way out of your marriage.
pack your kids for the weekend and tell him to take them for the weekend. i am not telling you to use them against him. but he needs to start parenting them as well. the other aunt is right. he is weaning himself off all of you slwoly. do not be a fool. let his lover and himself take care of the kids for the wekend while you sit and ponder your life ahead.
also what about finances. he needs to pay for the kids. being seperated means not getting anything. get a divorce and get official child support.
use the law agianst him and do this quickly. he is playing happy homes with his lover, without any cares in the world. give him a reality check and make him and his lover realise there is a world where they both have acceopt the kids.
i know you do not want to expose them to that life but what about you. struggling along without any assistance. your health is suffering. so please start being smart about all this. i know you are devastated and hurting but please be wise.
-LoveGirl
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (19 August 2010):
He left you holding the fort up! he is easing out of it slowly. he could not deal w/ the pressure found someone w/ no problems who probably smiles and laughs all the time and he ran right in her arms! he does not want the responsibility and wants to be free, men go through menopause too! no excuse. you didn't say how long ya'll have been together? for what it's worth you aint missing much for your husband to walk out on you and for another woman? and that other woman is going to make sure he has nothing to do w/ the kids and that is a fact. iam so sorry that you are going through this ordeal and not feeling well and trying to deal w/ the children! is hard. is there someone who can help you out? kids sence when you are not you. you know what i mean! and i know it is hard for you to hide it and you are hurting it's like you just want to run away yourself instead of dealing w/ it? and make the pain go away! but it's not going too go away so you are going to have to try and handle the children first and get them settled in their minds! so you then can have some peace of mind to deal w/ the other! that is the only way. and it is not their fault and they don't understand! so you need to do whats best for you and your children!! iam angry that a man could walk out on you like that and not give a *hit because he wants his freedom! what goes around comes around and you need to make sure of that i would already be done w/ him. so he was seeing her for 6 months and using you by still remaining in the house. oh and he says oh by the way honey, i have been seeing another woman for 6 months and forgot to tell you? take your love and put it into them children and focus on them and the more you do and the more tired you become is going to be worth it because it is going to make you stronger more proud of who you are and become that you are going to put things in a much better light! and it's going to be your light! but it's up to you now, to be their for you and your children! and get some help if you need it? no'one can heal you or take away the pain but you and you will heal in all do time and then you will handle him don't worry about him yet! wait until you are in your right mind! because then you are going to do it very tastefully!! you know what i mean. may god bless you and your children and be w/ you and help you through this w/ your children and you. and i hope you don't mind that i brought the lord into it?
Best Wishes 2 u & children
...............................
A
female
reader, heartbroken101  +, writes (19 August 2010):
 knowing that there mother is there for them and loves them with everything she has will make them feel loved and special. as for everything you need to talk to someone. if you can...spend some time together as a family...picnics are great and just have fun and try and forget about everything for a while and smile. thats what they need to do...laugh and be happy and live life. you need to talk to someone you trust or maybe even a counsellor. but talk to someone. because you can't do it alone. im sorry to hear this :(
...............................
A
male
reader, Western3589 +, writes (19 August 2010):
 I don't have the answers you want, and maybe nobody does. Because your in a difficult time, but I do know that if you don't give up, things will work out, somehow they will. Just be there for your kids as much as possible, an hold on to life and don't give up.
Sounds like cheesy inspirational talk, but it's all true
...............................
|
