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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: how can i help my wife whos just lost her dad. She was extremely close to him and is absolutly distrought. She gets upset an awfull lot which i can understand but she tends to hold it all back and it really hurts me to see her like that because you can tell that all she wants to do is cry and never stop. I just don't know how i can help her shes knows im always there for her please can you give me some advice on how to get her to open up to me more and just basically help her. Reply to this Question
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What should I do to help her grieve? |
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female
reader, kath +, writes (11 January 2007):
 loosing someone so close is HARD. every day that goes past is healin it may not seem like it but belive me its true (i lost someone 17 years ago the pain eases but has never gone away) so dont give up this will take a long long time. make a time everyday when you and yourwife can visit the place of rest and take it step by step talk about the good times and how her dad wouldnt want her to be upset he would want her to be happy and that you will be there for her always with bundels of love care and attention and it is ok to cry. good luck x
A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 Hold her when she feels like she is falling apart, allow her time when she needs to be alone, listen to her when ever she needs to talk, act normal when she feels like being normal, suggest simple yet distracting things, take her out to dinner when she is feeling up to it, cook when she has a really really bad day, tell her what you found special about him (if you can), remind her of funny memories that involve the two of them, say nothing when no words are needed, don't avoid talking about him when she wants to talk about him, hold her hand when you watch tv, and most of all try to understand she lost a part of her she wasn't aware was so large until it was gone. There is something about loosing a father, that makes us loose a little of ourselves especially when we had a special relationship with him. He is what she was looking for when she chose you to be her mate. Understand that you can be a reminder to her of what she is missing, show your best side and be patient. She will end her grieving when she is ready. Welcome her back when she returns.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (10 January 2007):
 That's a tough one. . . .
This is where I think religion helps soothe the pain of losing someone close to you, or, in this case, soothe your wife's pain.
If she has a pastor, or spiritual leader who she can talk to, maybe that will help ease her grief.
Knowing her father is in a better place, and that some day they will meet again, may be an approach you can take.
I don't know how long ago her father passed, but time does help. Support her and let her grieve in her own time frame.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, bexherbs  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 grief,is the hardest thing in the world until you've been there its hard to empathize! I was in my late 20's when i lost my dad and 3 years on its still hard and the best advice i can give you is contuine to do what you are and letting her know your there is great.And when she needs to cry let her,when she needs to talk listen but no matter what give her time and space and slowly in time the tears will be less but also remember that this will make her become different and nothing will fill the void.respect how she feels and i think she very lucky to have someone as caring as you are and good luck. bexherb
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