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age
36-40,
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writes: Hello. I would appreciate advice on how to help my friend.I am a 26 year old female, and my friend is quite a bit older than me. He lives across the road from me, and I know he has struggled with alcohol issues in the past. He used to drink a lot and he would become aggressive. People who knew him then used to be frightened of him and tried to stay away.However, he completely changed. He discovered the Bible, became a Christian, was baptised, and stopped drinking. This was about 7 or 8 years ago, and people tell me he became a different person. He is now considered a good neighbour, and people like him and are friendly with him. He helps people and follows his beliefs strongly.However, he has recently started drinking again. He started over a week ago, and it is already out of hand. He is drinking every day, and I am concerned. I think it is because he is unhappy with where he lives and is trying to move.People are staying away from him again out of fear, and they are warning me about him too. But I want to help. We have spent a lot of time together, and he has been there for me a lot. He is sort of like a father figure to me really.But he came round to my flat last week, and it was difficult understanding what he was talking about. He is different. He was talking aggressively about people, saying what he could do to them, and he also started to talk about things of a sexual nature. He made sexual and suggestive comments at me, including how he doesn't know whether to "take me to bed," and I felt uncomfortable.He knocked on my door over the weekend, but I didn't answer it. I feel awful, but I don't know how to help him while he is like this. He is claiming he doesn't have a problem, that he is fine. It is hard to reason with him and get through to him when the alcohol is in him. I have made it clear to him that I care and want to help, so he knows.I just don't know what to do. I feel bad for keeping my distance, yet I don't know if there is anything I could do for him right now. I know I need to protect myself, but I just feel awful.Thank you for reading this, and for any advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): I would suggest you go to Alanon for friends and family for alcoholics. They say you need to attend at least 3 to 4 meetings to get the hang of how the meeting go. I went for a time when my now x husband started drinking. It did help me.
It might help you to find the answers you seek.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 October 2013):
 You tell him you are disappointed that he took up drinking again, and that you challenge him to quit like he did before, or he is losing the only friend and support he has. You are not interested in anything beyond friendship. If he has no desire to quit and keeps harassing you for one thing, then tell him you would call the police.
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