A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Wer do I start I have this mate who I went to college with ! Every now and then we meet up to keep in touch! Through her I met her friend from the first time I saw her I thought she was pretty and felt unnerved by her! Maybe a year later I seen her again and her eyes caught mine I felt embarrassed and I realised I fancied her but I thought nothing more about it as she's straight and I'm just in process of identifying with my sexuality and have never said I'm gay . To cut a long story short. We all went out for the night ! All night are eyes kept meeting she was holding the eye contact longer than necessary and had a smile on her face. This was making me nervous so wen we went to club she was cumin up real close and staring into my eyes ! My heart was racing wen we got home I lay in the bed beside her and we passionately kissed several times before we fell asleep ! The next morning I told her I wanted to kiss her again but she said she was confused and that this never happened before! Throughout the day we avoided each other but wen I was leaving she kissed me on cheek and hugged me! I'm left feeling so confused now I can't stop thinkin bout her and the kiss even thou we wer very drunk but her eyes and I want it to happen again! Wat do you think I should do ! I wana know how she feels but don't know if I should. Need answers bout wat people think is goin on here
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): It's all very confusing to me too I didn't realise that I felt this strong until this night now when I see her my heart pounds and my stomach churns ! But I don't honestly know how she feels! It feels like she's cooling things when it was her that initiated things! I'm afraid to make things awkward and I want be able to hang with other friend !
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (1 October 2013):
 you never know unless you try. pursuing her doesn't mean you have to constantly hound her or obsess over it. treat her like any other normal relationship/friendship. hang out with her and get to know her. spend time with her. if it happens, it will happen naturally. don't force anything. if you hang out together again, just relax and feel her out. if the sexual tension and chemistry is still there, you both will know.
word of advice: move very slow. even if she is really into you, she is liable to panic and freak out and run the other direction.
so yes, with all that being said, hang out with her! see where it goes. don't have any specific expectations. just take it one day at a time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2013): I just don't know if I should pursue her or put it to the back of my mind and forget about get! I don't want things to be awkward ! I can't read her and she's like a closed book ! Thank I for your answers
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (1 October 2013):
coming from a gay woman, myself, it sounds like you're really feeling this girl. and it sounds as if she's certainly feeling you, too, but you're a bit more "in touch" with your attraction and feelings for the same sex than she is. she seems like these feelings have literally blind-sided her.
my current girlfriend has never been with a woman before and i was her first. she hadn't even ever thought of hooking up with a woman, let alone having a relationship with one before in her life. her and i met in a very similar fashion as you and this girl. when our eyes first met, there was just this spark. it was just this overwhelming chemistry. she didn't know what the hell she was experiencing, since she'd never felt that way towards a girl before. we went out together a handful of times before she finally had the courage to actually pursue ME! she initiated it. after we got together, she told me she'd always felt the spark between us, but it took her a little while to wrap her mind around what she was feeling and really embrace it before she pursued it. here we are now, a year later, still happily and wonderfully together. :)
anyway, that being said, this girl may be feeling like my girlfriend did at first - a little overwhelmed and confused by what she's feeling. she's always self-identified as straight and now she's questioning everything she thought she understood. to some people, this is life-altering and extremely confusing. and honestly, i've self-identified as gay since my adult life, so if i suddenly woke up tomorrow and was attracted to a man, it would really blow my mind, too. so just be patient and not too over-bearing. let her know you're attracted to her, but just play it cool and let her slowly adapt.
i hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 October 2013):
 There is nothing confusing. We are all supposed to be straight, until one of us dares to act out our desires to the same sex. It's just that most people won't go through with it because life is much simpler being heterosexual and without having to explain to other people that you are different. You and that girl are attracted to each other and want things to go further.
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