A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I fell in love with a married man, we are perfect for each other and we have been together for 6 months, he says he is in love with me too. He has not been happy with his wife of 9 years for a very, very long time and planned on leaving her even before we got together. Well she beat him to the punch and decided to leave him and packed her stuff and was moving back home to another state. This is been very hard for him because although he loves me I'm sure it's not easy for him. She was leaving this weekend and he and I went out Wednesday before she was leaving and she caught us together and all hell broke loose and of course she was devistated, I'm sorry for that but I'm not sorry for loving him. Now he is going through a mourning because its the end of his marriage. I told him I would be there for him anyway he needed and be patient and help him through this. How do I help him get thruogh this? I love him so much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I guess I was wrong. He ended up taking his wife back and it was the Saturday before X-mas eve and I found out on X-mas eve by driving by his house and seeing her car in the drive way, he says he didn't want to hurt me but not only did he hurt me he hurt my son too. My son got close to him and was hoping that he would be a father figure, he is 10yrs old. I can't believe he didn't have the guts to man up and tell me. He says he is so sorry but I can't believe a word he says. I'm so hurt, I can't sleep, I can't eat. I've been trying to stay busy, I started exercising, I just want to get him out of my head and my heart, he made me believe we had a future together. My heart feels like it has been broken into little pieces and I will never love anyone the way I loved him. I know time heals all wounds but I just want time to pass by quickly so I can heal and get over him. The worst thing about all of this is that we live close to eachother and my son plays baseball where he'll be coaching and we have mutual friends and visit the same local pub. I can't stop living my life because he all of the sudden decides he made the wrong choice, but he did the same thing to her as he did to me and I'm sure he'll do it again but it won't be with me.
A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (7 October 2008):
 All you can do is be there for him, however; be aware that he may resent you somewhat. Not that it is ALL of your fault that this happened, but it may be a way he deals with her wanting a divorce now.
The old saying, "Be careful what you wish for"... well sometimes it happens when even talked about, even if it is not fully what someone wants.
This was the end of his unhappiness that he was in so you can possibly help him in one way... by telling him that it's time he starts a new life. He wasn't happy and didn't want to be where he was anyway.
Good luck
Michelle
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 October 2008):
 Time heals all wounds and time wounds all heels.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 You help him by not getting in the middle of his divorce. But that is a bit late now because his soon-to-be-ex will use the relationship between you and your guy to beat him over the head during the divorce proceedings.
What would you lose if you waited until the divorce was final before allowing this relationship to become more serious?
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A
female
reader, studentnurse +, writes (3 October 2008):
Sorry to say this, but you can't. He lost a big part of him when she left. And yes even though he might not have been in love with her anymore, she still had apart of him. And even though he loves you, he lost part of him. All you can do is just be there for him. Love him no matter what, and the time will come when he is healed. Time heal's all wounds.
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