A
male
age
36-40,
*uartzite
writes:Hello! this is my first post here, and I'd really appreciate some help.I've had a hard time getting my girlfriend, whom i love very much, to orgasm. we haven't had intercourse (she's very religious and we aren't anywhere near likely to marry soon) but I've tried stimulating her manually, which I've had success with in past relationships. when i talked to her about it, she told me that she has only been able to climax with her vibrator, and even then it doesn't always work for her. whats worse she doesn't want me to give oral sex (which i thoroughly enjoy giving). i've read allot on what to do to satisfy her physically and i believe she's gotten a "vibrator addiction".considering the restrictions i have what are my options and what is the best course of action to take in giving her a "big O"?
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oral sex, orgasm, vibrator Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): hello,
to help her organsm, you need to apply some major pressure on her clitorius. when i masturbate, the clit itself almost brings me to an orgasm so that along with G-spot stimulation should work if not use the vibrator.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Okay, try the following: Begin with all the romance you can muster, and plenty of whatever foreplay is permissible (massage, kissing, fondling, etc.) - then when the vulva becomes involved, move very slowly.
With heavily moistened fingertips (I prefer saliva, or you may use water-based lubricant), slowly and gently massage up and down her labia (vaginal lips) for several minutes, avoiding her clitoris. Continue to replenish moisture as needed. Be patient about it while also kissing, nuzzling, suckling (breasts) or whatever maintains her arousal.
Due to the imposed prohibition on cunnilingus, you will be challenged to replicate what talented application of the tongue can do for female stimulation. It can be done, with adequate moisture, via lengthy and patient exploration with fingers, Eventually, you will move to exploring her vaginal opening, still avoiding the clit and maintaining moisture.
This builds anticipation, a necessary ingredient leading to orgasm. Use your two middle fingertips to gently part her labia and gradually insert her opening. you will eventually wish to seek her G-Spot, a slightly raised area about two-to-three inches inside her vagina located on the upper wall. It may feel slightly rough or spongy to your fingertips. The texture, about the size of a coin, will feel quite different than the slick vaginal wall.
Gently rub this spot side-to-side, and alternatively round-and-round, and with other movements for a time - still kissing, fondling with your other hands, etc. You should eventually begin using a come-hither motion to this G-Spot, which if timely and properly stimulated, will lead her to orgasm. Add a moistened fingertip or thumb to firmly massage her clitoris as she approaches orgasm.
For many women, an increase in intensity with the come-hither motion will drive them straight to orgasm fairly quickly. You may also begin to grasp her vulva as if lifting her lower-body upward with a rapid and sustained rhythm. Maintain two-finger penetration with this grip and press down firmly on her mons pubis (area above the vulva) with the other hand. This can be done fairly forcefully without harm, and increases G-Spot stimulation. As she reaches a peak, place a moistened thumb firmly upon her clitoral bud and hold steady. As she concludes orgasm, gradually decrease rhythm and intensity. All I can add is - this works beautifully with practice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): i found that with my fella i couldnt orgasm for aaaaaages,
everything he did felt absolutly amazing, but it just didnt quite get me there
but recently, we've become much more comfortable with each other, and my exams have finshed
as soon as all these stressors were out of my mind i was able to really enjoy his stimulation and orgasm every time i see him
just make sure she is really relaxed and wants to have sexy time
maybe suggest a massage first? or steamy bath together?
it might be an idea to ask whether you can use the vibrator on her??
then if thats good, down size to a vibrating cock ring
i love it when my guy rubs it against my clit and fingers me,
this alwaysssss gets a result!!!!!
i know shes said no to oral,
but whilst fingering her, edge down and kiss her legs, thighs, lower stomach etc.
if she tenses up, but doesnt stop you,
then move in for the kill
above all else just enjoy the fact shes letting you
when you stop tryin so hard and theres less stress everythin will be right
x
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A
male
reader, Quartzite +, writes (17 June 2009):
Quartzite is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the help to those who replied/will reply.
i should also note that she has been able to orgasm in the past without it, but that has been at least two years ago. also she is usually very "quiet" and she doesn't reall know what she likes that i can do for her. i have to figure it out as i go; i've found allot of things that she likes but... i can't get her off. she has told me what feels good, and i know where her g spot is. but Ive worked her g spot and clit for about an hour total in one run to no succes. she said "it felt good" but it didn't get her over the threshold.
does she need to put the vibrator away for a while and go back to manual stimulation? i don't want to deprive her of her only means of orgasm, but i really want to give it to her myself.
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A
female
reader, love-struckxo  +, writes (16 June 2009):
 I have trouble having an orgasm even when I'm not feeling the moment.
She has to be into it, she has to like and enjoy what your doing. Sexual activity stimulates the mind, and the horomones take over, sometimes.
If she isn't enjoying what your doing - this could be the delay of her orgasm.
Since you guys are not having sex - you will have to try and find her g-stop with your hands, mouth, etc.
When your going down on her, ask her if it feels good.
Basically, your just going to have to ask her what she likes - and how she would like you do it.
Take care
xx
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