| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I fell in love with my best friend, a girl, about two years ago. We dated and crossed borders we had tried to set, but we stopped that and forgave each other. Then a few months later she broke up with me, saying I wasn't the one she was going to marry. Not three weeks later she told me that an old friend of ours was asking to date her and she was considering agreeing. I still liked her a lot, but I tried to be supportive and helpful, and make sure that she didn't make the same mistakes again. I guess I pushed it too far, though, because one night after a few months with her new bf she started crying when I was talking to her, and after that she said we shouldn't talk for awhile. I've decided to just put her out of my life for good, but it's hard. Is it the right thing to do, or do you think we could still salvage our friendship? We were really close for awhile, I think it was just circumstance that pulled her away (my strict parents, her being older and in college, my plans to enter the military), she seems to really like the other guy but she's said she still cares deeply for me as a friend. We both always valued our preexisting friendship...if I try to rekindle it, how on earth should I go about it? I already acted like she didn't exist for a whole day around her...
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (9 December 2009):
You don't. You'll never get the friendship back because you were more than friends. It didn't exist as a friendship. There were always feelings there.
Be civil to her when you see her but avoid contact as much as you can. There will be many many great female friends in your life, but you have to know when to call it a day.
Yes this is circumstance working against you for the most part, but since you can't change that, it'll just cause more heart ache to fight against it and fail. Especially for something that won't work as a friendship anyway.
Good Luck!! xx
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