A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been having a relationship with a professor at my university now for 8 months, I have now told my parents i am in a relationship with someone and have told them he is older than me.My boyfriends family (Uni profs family) have met me and are lovely.The university knows of our relationship and i am not his student and he is nothing to do with my course or my grades. As long as we are professional if we see each other on campus, they are accepting of it. I am just a little worried of my parents reaction as I am my dads little girl and I know who ever I bring home wont be good enough, I just am a little nervous. My 2 best friends one at uni one not, know of our relationship and are fine with it.How do I go about telling my parents?How can I get the best outcome from this situation?what if people in my uni start thinking we are an item ( even though we are)I am 22 and he is 38
View related questions:
best friend, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2016): Expect parents to react no matter who your boyfriend is. Your boyfriend is a man of stature and respect. At best, they will feel he has a lot of education and experience on you; and at some point, even you will find that difficult to deal with.
All his friends and colleagues are older, well-educated, and more experienced; so don't be surprised that you won't fit into all his niches in society. Naturally that will concern your family. They know you'll have to face older conservative and very opinionated people, just like your parents.
An older man with a much younger woman; particularly when there is a large age-gap, sometimes will raise eyebrows even among his own peers. Yet they will smile and be absolutely lovely to your faces. Just be woman enough to handle it.
Don't be fooled by graciousness among the highly educated and their social circles. It is appropriate to be polite and present a "face." Things aren't always as they appear. It's what's said or whispered when your back is turned.
He's old enough to not care. You have yet to mature to that point. You're so naive, you're worried about your parents!
Be honest and upfront with your parents. You're an adult, and you can date whomever you please. Young women often do a lot worse than dating a respected college professor.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 May 2016):
 The age gap is big. A professor is a highly respected job. Your boyfriend is knowledgeable, and has status in society. He can certainly take care of you if you became pregnant. You can argue away the fact that he is not technically your teacher. The thing that your dad will worry about is "what is an older guy like him doing with a younger student? Why can't he date women his own age? Is he immature? Is he getting mid life crisis earlier? Is he insecure that he only feels comfortable dating someone his junior? What does he have in common with you? Your dad will have all kinds of questions that can only be answered in the course of your relationship. You don't know these answers yet at 8 months because you are still at your best behavior. I think you should only tell him when you are so confident about the relationship that you are 100% sure that you would marry him one day.
...............................
|
