A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi peopleI want to know how to proceed to date a girl who I met at the gym. I met her a long time ago and then lost touch because she stopped coming to the gym. She used to make a lot of eye contact at the gym and I managed to speak with her once and got her name. She smiled very shyly when I spoke with her. After a few days, she stopped coming to the gym.I spent hours and hours on facebook and then finally found her and I sent her an invite and she remembered me and added me.I even told her that I spent a lot of time looking for her and that I could not forget her beautiful smile when I sent her the invite.I also send her messages about movies and other stuff. She responds to the messages about the movies but every time I ask her to meet me or speak to me, I don't get a response.Once, she told me that she will call me after I gave her my number but she didn't call. I sort of reminded her and no response to that either.Do I have any chance with this girl or is it some wild goose chase. Why do you think would add me and then ignore me when I have told her indirectly that I really like her before she even accepted the friend invite.Any advice please???Thanks
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female
reader, 3mma  +, writes (1 December 2010):
i agree with blonde 30s take it slow.
honestly i think shes just trying to be nice or maybe shes to shy i mean it sounds like she barely knows you? but if you really want her...
...i think you should play the friend card. You should get to know her chat to her but as a freind no more flirting and then once you get to know her well start to flirt subtly. then maybe ask do you wanna hang out as friends. Your relationship can progress from there and if shes still not interested i guuess its her choice dude :)
A
male
reader, ArsenalFC87  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 bro the worst thing you did was find her on facebook. yeh you really were digging this chick and you had to find her, i get it. but you should not of told how much you liked her and how long you spent looking for her. That not only might've creeped her out while placating her ego(something you absolutely dont wanna do),that kindve kills the whole chase aspect to this hook-up and the chase aspect is what intially intrigues her about you.
in this kindve situation im guessing you had to go the facebook route because there was no other way to iniate contact, none the less, find her. fine. in that case you shouldve just added her. boom. thats it. no messaging her, no telling her how much you like her. no nothing. you do this for like a month. no talking to her. that way she might construe the facebook add as just a frivulous attempt on your part, to network.
she checks your page from time to time, sees that youre a cool dude, you have a life, and youre a total badass, then becomes curious. after this month goes by, then you message her with something simple and casual like "hey dont see you at the gym anymore lol". if doesnt respond well then you know that its a lost cause. if she does answer, your job is then to determine if shes just making conversation and being nice or if she in fact is interested.
you do this by simply corresponding with her about casual things(you absolutely dont mention that you like her while doing this). she becomes more and more curious, frequents your page more often, then BOOM, you say something like "hey i know this is kindve lame to do over facebook, but youre awesome, and im definitely awesome, so we should be awesome together sometime."
To be honest dude, i think shes just trying to be nice. Dont over analyze her adding you. its facebook man. sounds cliche but theres plenty of other girls, and youre more than capable of finding someone else.
youre a risk taker, and ill commend you for that. youve got some balls. you were hella into this girl and you took a chance and went with it. i applaud your effort, the drawback is if the end result is not to your liking then it hurts even more because you really wanted her. the best way was to be patient. you have to ease into it(thats what she said).
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