A
male
age
30-35,
*aksi567
writes:Hi everyone, have you got any advice for me to give up on finding love and meeting someone because I couldn't care if I ever met anyone. I know that sounds stupid being I'm only 23 but it just upset me and destroys my confidence thinking about it. It's not like I haven't tried, I have spoken to girls in clubs and pubs, at College even dating sites. Every time, I have always been pilote and well mannered maybe it's because I'm not amazing good looking and don't have killer abs or money maybe that's why. Sorry if that offends any women on this but it seems that they only go for that. Anyway, I couldn't care less to be honest. I have never had a girlfriend, never even been on a date, so can't realy miss something, I havs never had. Once, there was a time, I would have done anything and any girl that I ever met. I would have looked after her, loved her and protected her. I would have tried my best to make her feel like a princess. Love is not for everyone however and it doesn't exist in my world.
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confidence, money, never had a girlfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (16 September 2013):
 Stop feeling sorry for yourself and join a dating website (not a free one). Take up a new hobby. Enjoy life. Set yourself a couple of new goals. Be happy in your own skin. It WILL happen for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): Right fellas - woman's perspective.
You dont seem the type to read some confidence books, have a personality change and go pick up girls in a bar. You dont seem like the type to act like a jerk or treat em mean. And if thats not you, dont do it. You have stopped looking which is when it often happens. Try to love yourself (not by being arrogant but by treating yourself well, work hard to achieve a career goal, do what you enjoy).You sound lovely but too sad to attract anyone at the moment, so work on finding happiness in your own company and the company of friends.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): I use to feel the same way that you did and I am in my late forties and I'm a female. I would often go for the guys that are extremely good looking with the flat abs and all, and most of them are stuck up, money hungry, or they don't want real relationships. I have given up at times looking for men because I would find that they only would go for the young girls and model types. I still believe that in some way and it's not that I am not attractive because I am. I just feel that in order to attract the right people in your life you have to be actively working on yourself. I think sometimes so what I don't have a date, I have my friends, family, and I take care of myself. It's good to improve yourself as long as you do it for you. If you want to lose weight or go to the gym and build muscle that's good, and building your self esteem. I had gotten quite a few guys on the dating sites compliment me on my looks even at my age and it made me feel good.I have had relationships and I have been married but I was younger and now it is harder for me because I am divorced. I agree with Code Warrior. Don't let women intimidate you because I have seen women do a number on men and it makes them look bad and they are insecure. Don't give up and be good to yourself.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (16 September 2013):
You either don't want love or you do. It sounds to me like you do but are frustrated with your progress.
Instead of failing and giving up, try learning from your mistakes. Some guys think being a nice guy is enough- it's not. You have to be nice, but not too nice. You have to have confidence, you have to be proactive and ask (the right women) out, don't wait for them to give you an unmistakable sign; you're going to have to risk being rejected.
I'm not bad looking, but not a model by any stretch. I don't have a six pack, or lots of money. But the ONLY time I've ever had issues getting women is when I was intimidated by them. As soon as I realized that rejection was nothing to be afraid of I was able to get girls pretty easily.
One of my oldest friends is overweight, short, broke and hairy. But I'll be damned if he doesn't always have a decent looking woman with him. Why? Because HE has a great personality.
With an attitude like yours, you really will be single for the rest of your life. You're still young... a late bloomer, but it's not too late. Regarding money: identify a career path that will get you paid, then follow it. If not for you, for your future wife.
Waaaay more ugly, fat, poor, depressed people before you have found love. You should go see a counselor and read some books about becoming confident and picking up women.
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A
male
reader, jiggaman22 +, writes (16 September 2013):
I think you are going about this in the wrong wayI used to think like you; I had little or no luck with the women I met, then one day I decided to give up, and that is when I started having luck; I started to focus on me, I gained ambition, I have hobbies, I am still working towards my future and I am always trying to change and grow as an individual.Every girl I have met, as always been fascinated by men with ambitions and drive.From what you have said; it really sounds as if you are already ready to give up everything for a girl... you have ended the chase before it even happens. A girl just needs to find you interesting to start growing an attraction towards you, you don’t need the six-pack; I have known plenty of girls that have gone out with personal trainers with no other ambitions and they have been driven away from them through sheer boredom. If you met a girl that had no goals or ambitions; would you be interested in them? Take a little think about it before giving up on love all together my friend :)JiggaJigga
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 September 2013):
 Oaksi: You know what is a "marathon", no? It's 26+ miles (about 40 km).....
Your submittal "sounds" to me as if you have just passed the starting line of a marathon, but you have already concluded that you are not going to win.... no matter WHAT (else) might happen.....
Time to change to a POSITIVE spin on your life....
Good luck....
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