How do I get the trust back?

A male age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am 28 and been in a serious relationship for the last 2 years, and have been living together for the last year. We have had alot of issues with fighting and i admit i can have a very hot temper. She travels back and forth to see family where she lives on holidays and such and to see her family doctors for medical ailments. The problems started about 3 months after we moved in together and she was going through some tooth pain(broke a tooth). I came in from work kneeled beside her and asked her if she was ok and she exploded on me. The following months were her breaking up with me on a daily basis and then leaving to see her family for the holidays. When she came back(3 months later, had multiple surgeries) Things were fine for a while until overheard a conversation she was having with one of her friends. She told her friend that while she was away she told an ex she still loved him and he blew her off. When i confronted her she told me her friend was having similar problems and she made a white lie to make things seem better and to make a point. After that i really kinda lost trust and we started fighting all the time. Between the constant breakups from her and this it was hard to have faith in her. This past christmas she left once again and the issues i have now is that she told me she was going one place and then admitted leter she went somewhere else and when the cell bill came in there was phone calls to 2 of her exs hometowns. I really love her but dont have much trust to give anymore. when i confront her with it she gets mad and very defensive and says im just nitpicking at things, but i find it to be very serious. I just need to know what to do. When i give her the chance to prove herself normally it just proves otherwise. When i give her the opportunity to choose me over something else in her life i normally get disappointed. Since shes been gone we only talk to each other about 5 minutes a day then she says she has to go help her family do stuff but im seeing a call to a ex that lasted a half hour and then he has resumed calling her daily but she hasnt answered any of those calls. I just need some advice on how to get the trust back and what i should do. Thanks.

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A male reader, pinkey1981  +, writes (2 January 2009):

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

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