A
female
age
41-50,
*uleslincs
writes:Hi there, I would like some advice, I have been seeing this guy for a while, 18 months and it is long distance, thing is it used to be ace! and don't get me wrong but when we are together it is good!! fantastic! but when we are apart now, it's unbearable, no replies to texts, hardly any calls, and even contact in person becoming a little too apart now for my liking, and I know he also goes on date sites and chats with others, but give him benefit of doubt my mum says but hey he may only be chatting etc, so usually its hi babe course I love you, now I send and ask him things and no replies! If I am on phone to him and his mates call he will say listen will call you back and don't but if I call him and he's on phone he tells me again I will call you back! I am feeling sick every day and feel he has massively lost interest and maybe getting interest elsewhere, but his mates when they demand him he is there... I just don't know anymore I really don't... but if I query him on phone he will say talk later when you can talk properly and hang up and not answer for ages! How do I get the old man I fell in love with back?? If he is still interested help me please
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fell in love, I love you, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (12 March 2008):
It's so not anything you have done!! It sounds as if you have tried everything to keep your relationship on track, it's just that he's changing. Unfortunately you can't do anything to get him back if he wants to go. And you can't make up his mind for him if he's unsure.
It does sound like he still likes you and is afraid of hurting you - but in my opinion it sounds like he wants something different. I think you may be setting yourself up for a losing battle - that will eventually end in a broken heart for you. It may be the case that he won't realise what he had until it is finished.
Please don't think that you have done anything wrong or that you have pushed him away.
you had every right to confront him about the dating websites!! No-one goes on these 'just to talk to someone' there are plenty of other sites to make friends with common interests. I understand that you love him, and things must be really hard for you at the moment, but don't let him use you just because you love him.
A
female
reader, juleslincs +, writes (11 March 2008):
juleslincs is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know also i do everything for him, when he is with me, cook cleanand everything because i like too, but like coming to see me i have to constantly remind him to book the train tickets, and now getting to 2-3 weeks between seeing each other, but then he sends me nice poems and stuff, i feel like a bloomin mistress, not a long term g/f, i reallylove him though, and it must be something i have done? since i saw all this dating milaki, and confrontation he has gone fairly cold! itry look my best and whatever else, but.... i do genuinly feel like i have gone wrong somewhere and pushed him away
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (11 March 2008):
I'm afraid the answer I'm going to give isn't one that you will like, I really think he has lost interest and is being a complete jerk in the hope that you will dump him so that he isn't the bad one.
If I were you I would try to braoden my friendship circles and focus on other people. Stop ringining him for a couple of weeks. If he's still interested he will try to contact you...if he doesn't then you have your answer and you can move with your life.
Message me if you wanna talk further
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 In my opinion, you should back away and possibly seek another boyfriend. I think that you have been placed on the "back burner" based on your description. You are still quite young and deserve more attention from a man you care about. There are better choices out there.
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