A
female
age
51-59,
*illie1
writes:How do I get rid of a man who won't go away? Won't accept that we are over? One would think that my calling off our first engagement shortly after it started would have been enough. And then calling off our second engagement the day before the wedding woudl have definitely been the end of everything with him. But no. He wouldn't stop calling or emailing. Eventually we got back together, but I think we are wasting time. Along with a number of undersirable habits, he says mean things to me, mostly that nobody likes me, not my family, not my friends, not my co-workers. And I think saying that sort of thing is completely unacceptable. He thinks it's okay to get upset like that once in a while. I am trying to avoid him, and hope he gets the hint. I don't want to talk to him, because he is mean, and will just say mean things if I try to break-up. Yes, I have tried severl, if not many, times to break up with him. And I've thought I've succeeded, only to have him call the next day and suggest a movie and that he loves me and blah, blah blah. I can't get rid of him. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): the reason he is saying no one likes you is because he is trying to control you by isolation this is how abusers control the women in their lives don't let him do that to you this man has some major problems don't let them become yours get away from him as fast as you can
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): can't get rid of him? then stop getting engaged, breaking up and getting together again, you are sending mixed signals. anyway why are you so callous? you may want him out of your life but your actions indicate otherwise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): If you really wanted to get rid of him you could. Its not rocket science. You do not have to answer the phone when he calls you. If I were you (and I really wanted to get rid of him) I would do the followng;
1- Change my phone number
2- Block him from my email, facebook, msn etc
3- Change my locks if he has the key to my house
4- Simply not answer the phone when he calls, delete his texts and do not reply to them
5- Call him and tell him in no uncertain terms that its over and if he persits in pestering you that you will have a restraining order taken out on him
But honestly you keep answering, it seems to me that you like the attention
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): You are goin to have to tell him straigh up...YOU ARE DONE! then do not answer any of his calls at all. when men start telling you know one likes you they are trying to control you and give you a low self esteem so no one will want you and to keep you all to . Since you have taken him back he thinks of this as a pattern and that you will continue to do so. I say tell him it is over and run:)
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A
female
reader, manou  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 of course you can , you are not living together or something so try to avoid going to the places where you usually meet and be decisive in telling him that its over this time , coming back to him each time is the thing that made you reach this point with him right now but its never late , good luck
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