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anonymous
writes: Dear helper, I am a 15 year old girl and I have a very bad feeling in me all the time. I have just recently split up with my long term boyfriend who is the same age as me. I cannot get over him, we are still mates and I see him almost every day in school, but I want it to be how it was before. I am too embarrassed to tell him how I feel and also scared of what he will say to me. Since we spilt up from seeing each other for 3 years, I now feel heart broken because he left me for another girl. Every time I see him lately, they always kiss in front of me and I just wish it was me by him. Ii cannot talk to my parents as they laugh at me. My mates also do the same. All I ask for a some advice to get my self- esteem back into place once more and be happy again. thankstroubled_teen_15 x x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2005): I was once where you are, now I'm thirty and still suffer from the emotional scars that I allowed a young relationship to cause. It's rude, and juvenile that he flaunts his new affections in front of you. You must be strong enough to walk away. If he is the kind of person that doesn't care about your post-break up feelings, then he lacks common decency.... do you really want someone who lacks that basic human trait? Keep remembering that your pain is temporary. And yes, I believe you that it is oh so real. I suggest self help books and journaling. This way, you can grieve without people dismissing your cause. Please take it from an older woman... this guy sucks. He left you for another... and that's his choice. It can be liberating to think "Well, OK, he just didn't love me anymore". It may hurt initially to convince yourself, but in time you will begin to realize that you don't want or need a man who doesn't love you anymore. Stay strong, you are a young, carefree woman. Don't let this one person affect your very core. You are too good for that. You have to move on, and do it gracefully like a lady. Be the bigger person in all of this. And above all, try not to ever go back with him. (He'll be back when his new relationship dies, but only because he takes you for granted). Don't believe his promises, and his words of love if he ever gives them to you again. This guy betrayed you once, and will surely do it again. Sit home, cry, write mean letters to him and to her, burn them, eat ice cream.... and then consciously choose to remove him from your mind. He's taking up too much space there, and doesn't deserve that much of an investment. As a young woman, you must be selective, not selected!!! Choose wisely, because the wrong type of person (ie this guy), will destroy you at such a young age. Then you'll be carrying emotional baggage for years to come. Is he really worth that much of your life??? Also, please, please, talk seriously with your mom. If you look her dead in the eyes and say, "Mom, I am hurting and I need your advice", she may be inclined to listen. Moms can be the very best resource during these times. She's been there before. Learn from the mistakes of others, you can't possibly make them all yourself. I wish you well.
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