A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a very hard time moving on from my last relationship. It was my first real relationship and it only lasted half a year, but it seems like it was much longer. We broke up about 3 or 4 months ago and while I have made progress I still haven't gotten over her. I'm a shy guy and I don't have many friends, and she happened to be pretty much my best friend as well as my gf. We broke up because I was acting jealous and insecure and we argued quite a bit. I already tried to get her back as a friend a few times so right now there is literally no hope of getting her back in my life. I'm coming off a summer where I was alone for most of it and I spent a lot of my time just trying to escape from my heartache. I know that it's probably for the best that we aren't together anymore though so I wont talk much about the past. I'm going into my 5th year of highschool as a returning grad which is common, but my only male friend is going to a different school this year. I am down to just one friend who I'm not sure if I can even rely on. I came home the other day from school after being alone most of the day, and all I could do was just lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling I was so depressed. I try to keep a smile on my face and be friendly to everyone, but a lot of the people that I say hi to on a regular basis don't bother saying hi to me if they see me first. These are the people who can't even be bothered to write a happy birthday message on my wall on facebook. I'll admit that that does sound kinda irrelevant but writing happy b-day on someones wall is almost effortless.. if you have fb then maybe you know what I mean. I don't know what to do... I don't have to go back to highschool for another year but it seems like the only way I could actually get a life. Another one of my options is to get a job to save up for university/college, but that doesn't seem like a good way to meet friends. The only positives that I have right now are that my classes are going well socially because I'm starting to open up. I still think about my ex a lot and its a constant battle inside of me to not miss her and tell myself it wasn't a good relationship. Even right now im still thinking about the possibility of contacting her again.One of my plans right now is to just try to socialize more with the people in my classes, and then when the first dance comes I can either ask a girl too it or just bring my friend along and see what happens. That was how I met my ex last year so it might be a good plan. I guess im just writing this because im confused and really struggling.. im sorry that I made this really long, thanks for reading and any advice or thoughtful comments would be really appreciated. Even just typing this out is helping me feel a little better.
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best friend, broke up, depressed, facebook, insecure, jealous, my ex, shy, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): Being insecure and jealous can and will drive even a person who is head over heels for you away. Because, with that sort of jealousy and insecurity comes confusion, deciet, finger pointing and false accusations ranging from stealing a cookie out the cookie jar to cheating. Let this be a lesson learned and not to be repeated. If you need help then get it that way you don't carrying these negative traits into future relationships.
A
female
reader, j.c.d.l  +, writes (9 September 2010):
Stop fretting and worrying. Move on, drink and party, be relaxed and friendly as often as possible and people will come to you. Look after yourself, get a new haircut and clothes, take up a sport or join a gym or a club to pass the time and meet new people, I know its hard to see it this way when your in that situation but life goes on.
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