A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a virgin and very inexperienced. I'm also in a long distance relationship and me and my boyfriend have done everything but sex, and its great in person, but we aren't going to be together for at least 5 months and I have trouble talking about sexual stuff. He'll ask me to describe what i would be doing to him if i were there, and I just can't answer. Hes patient and understanding, but I would like to answer that question someday. Any advice on how I can get past my shyness and talk openly about sexual things?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 April 2013):
 you can't tell him what you will do because as a virgin you have no clue.... and that's ok and normal.
tell him, honey I love you but i'm not comfortable talking about it.. but in five months when I see you I'll show you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): How long were you together before he left? Why aren't you going to be together for 5 months? If you are a virgin, I guess you can't be very explicit about what you'd would do if he were there. You've never had sex.Asking you to participate in "sexting" might be ahead of the game. It's nothing to be ashamed of. How can a person articulate what they'd do sexually, if they have never had sex before? He's expecting more than you can deliver. He has been patient so far, so he has a lot to look forward to. Just tell him you don't feel comfortable trying to talk about sex. Tell you'll be waiting for him, and try your best to tell him how you feel in person when it is easier for you.Meanwhile; rehearse in your mind what you would like to say to him. Say it out loud to his picture. Repeat it until you feel comfortable hearing yourself speak of sex to him. Practice being sexy and demure. You have to be comfortable with yourself first. Fantasize about being in his arms.You have apparently been programmed either culturally. or religiously, to suppress sexual feelings. You feel you're being a bad girl, and there's something shameful about sex.When he returns, he will guide you and help you to be more comfortable about the subject. Once you have experienced actual love-making, the words will come easier.I hope things go well for you. He sounds like a great guy for being so patient and respectful of you.
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