A
female
age
36-40,
*ostone
writes:In the past couple couple weeks I have been going through a painful rollercoaster of emotions. My boyfriend, who I sincerely love, went to visit an online friend for a week and broke up with me after returning, preferring to be with her. He said "bottom line, it just wasn't working and hadn't been for a long time." We had been dating for almost four years, had lived together, shared countless special memories, but the arguments we occasionally had were his focus, though I believe if he had not gone to see her we would probably still be together. Things had been perfect for almost a month until he went to see her.My heart does not want to move on. I'm hoping I have trudged through the worst of this emotional pit, but I am still crying alot and not feeling like myself. The worst part is, he is right here with me. We're roomates while in school. So when he is talking to her online for hours straight, I am right there and if it's late he won't even let me leave to get away from it because he says he'd worry about me. When I cry, he is right there and I cannot go deal with it myself.But another problem is that he says this is for the best and just wants to be friends, but does not treat me that way. When I stopped talking to him for a couple days he said it made him really sad. He gives me lots of hugs everyday and kisses me on the forehead, and when he gets up in the morning and thinks I'm still asleep he kisses me on the cheek. As much as I want to protect myself from becoming his affection outlet for his long-distance relationship, I also cannot push his affections aside because I still want to be with him, and am hoping that this is a sign.Sorry for the long post. But if it is really over, how can I hope to move on with him right there acting this way? Or are his affections a sign that he misses me and will eventually come around? I feel I might be clinging to false hope, but I will take any kind of hope. Thanks to anyone who kindly responds to my dilemma.
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female
reader, CharmmyKitty +, writes (3 September 2008):
 I wouldn't hold on to any kind of hope. Honestly, even if for some reason he said he wanted to get back together, could you really ever put your trust in him again? You'd spend everyday wondering if it's going to happen again.I think his actions are a result of trying to make you feel better, not realizing it's doing more damage. You've been dating such a long time, theres no way he doesnt still care for you, even if he's fallen out of love with you. So when he knows your so upset, he's doing these things to try and comfort you... but it's just making it impossible to heal.I was living with a boyfriend once when we broke up, so I know how it feels to constantly be reminded of him everywhere you look... so I would recommend staying with your parents or a friend for a while. You need to be away from him, and you need to be around people who can make you feel better. Like your not in the world alone. Maybe even a vacation if you can afford it. It kind of puts things in perspective.I'm really sorry that you have to go through this, but I know you'll come out the other side alright.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): from what i see he's only thinking about himself...
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