A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright so the story is my girlfriend was going to break up with me and my best friend told me about this.I sat down with her and talked to her and say weather it was true or not and she said in a low voice yes it is and I asked why and she told me because she didn't feel the same way for me (*real explanation)I was in shambles and I was so mad and sad and heartbroken but I didn't want to show it and instead was understanding about it.. yet a little mad, but when she made the comment "We can be close friends" that blew me up so badly, I told her "forget that" and she had such a shock on her face and was surprised as to she never expected what I did from myself.she told me why not? and I told her because being friends with your ex never works and that I know from experience that it never actually does only on rare occasions and it'd be awkward between me and her and she said "well maybe for you but not for me" (She is cold and heartless as to have already forgetting what I go through for her)she told me, well i've gone out with a lot of guys going through your situation and we are still friends and that ticked me off because it was like I was another tally mark of guys she had broken their hearts and as pity/mercy offers her mere friendship that to me I saw like cheap school glue to fix your broken, shattered heart..I'd be another one of those guys, So I said in anger, "So all the things we been through didn't mean anything to you and just want to break it off" and she said "well it does but as friends" i was mad at this point and said "So I'm just gonna have to forget everything??" and she thought I said that as a statement and said "We aren't even going to be anything?" and she had a anticipated facial expression to my response and I said no, I turned down her pity friendship to me and I told her to leave and she left at first alright and then in tears.. I didn't care at that point. People told me she cried but the thing was I didn't know for what.. Why did she cry? If she was going to break up with me? I'm guessing its because it didn't go out as she planned because she knows I'm a really nice person and I'm going to accept her meaningless friendship but I turned it down and she didn't expect it, well anyways.((*Explanation*))The real deal was so she could go out with the guy she's been cheating on me with and it tore my heart apart to find out she's happy with this guy I've encountered with before and he's a dirt bag who breaks girls hearts and only to have hooked up with him couple days after we broke up.. I gave her all I could, I didn't ask for sex, I actually treated her with respect and nothing less, I accepted her for who she was and would never hurt her and tell her everything straight out but she still did this.. I even told her this and she told me the same along the lines and this was a couple days before she broke it off with me..I can't tell you how painful this feels to me , the fact that she picked him over me and she's happy about it, and the worst part is I don't even thin she regretted it.. and the memories are still embedded in my head. I want to cry but I think to myself she isn't worth my tears. Please somebody tell me how I can get over her, I don't talk to her anymore, I deleted her as from my contacts and the pictures we had together are all gone, I burned all the notes and a gift she gave me.. All this was only multiple band-aids to my heart as I was doing all this but never really healed it fully. I still think about her and I really try my hardest not too and the thing is people tell me stuff I don't want to her about her and it just makes my day worse. Please help me.Thank you so much for your answer and reading this lengthy question.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): I must say that you handled her very well. Very mature. I am glad you did not settle for her pity friendship. I also agree that from a relationship into mere friendship doesn't work for me too. I cannot grasp this when people settle as 'friends' . But I guess that's me: old school.Coming back to your cheating ex. They say the only way to get over a cheater is a life well lived. You are so young. You have years to fall in love and have a girl reciprocate those feelings for you. Timing is everything.She cried bec you were stronger and you showed her you were not going to settle as second best. Those were crocodile tears and don't even bother yourself with them. When the player dumps her sorry ass then see her crumble.You are mad, sad,moping about, unsure of your feelings- its OK to feel like this. It is part of the healing process. Mourn the loss of this relationship. Slowly move on.I am glad you got rid of everything associated with her. You made a total physical break, now you need to work on the emotions.Time heals is so true. Start hanging out with your friends and family again. Start enjoying your life again. Very soon, you will ask, who?? She will be just a distant memory. Don't fall into her trap and friendship . You deserve better And you will find better.LoveGirl
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): stick to your guns and don't be her friend. She wants to keep you near in case the other boy she tied up with fails. Don't give her a second chance if it doesn't work for her and the other boy. I've seen girls do this a lot.
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