A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need help!!! I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 1/2 years and I love him. I am not in love with him though, this I know. It's not that he is a bad person, he's generally good. One thing though, I'm afraid of what his reaction will be if I try to get out of the relationship. My question is, how do I get out of this very long, very comfortable relationship safely? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Artistry +, writes (3 August 2008):
 Hi there, My first question would have to be why
are you afraid of his reaction? Has he physically or verbally abusde you in any way? If not, then you just explain to him, that you do not have the same feelings you have for him in the beginning, or however you want to tell him, tell him it is not his fault, people fall out of love.
Now if he has been abusive in any way, you just need to leave, period, no explanation needed. There is some underlying current here and I don't have enough information to give you an answer, based on everything that is going on, so please write us back and provide more detail about your relationship. I hope this helps some. Take care and stay in touch. Life is too short not to be as happy as you can be.
A
female
reader, whimsical  +, writes (3 August 2008):
I'm in the exact situation as you r. It's pretty hard especially when your boyfriend is a great guy. There's fear of karma (u leave him one day other gonna leave u bla bla), fear of the next thing wont work out, fear of regrets in the future, and also the fear of feeling 'if he's a great guy, but i want out, does tat mean i doesnt deserve some1 like him??'.. all sort of doubts and dead end questions.
It's terribly exhausting to think about your situation, worse when you cant really talk to any1 becuz every1 around knows you two are great together for years.
I've been thinking for months and possibly there is no safe way to get out. But I'm thinking about putting the relationship on hold by moving away somewer a bit far from him, then slowly 'disconnect' myself from him. But then, that wud take a bit of time for him to see the point.
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A
female
reader, whimsical +, writes (3 August 2008):
I'm in the exact situation as you r. It's pretty hard especially when your boyfriend is a great guy. There's fear of karma (u leave him one day other gonna leave u bla bla), fear of the next thing wont work out, fear of regrets in the future, and also the fear of feeling 'if he's a great guy, but i want out, does tat mean i doesnt deserve some1 like him??'.. all sort of doubts and dead end questions.
It's terribly exhausting to think about your situation, worse when you cant really talk to any1 becuz every1 around knows you two are great together for years.
I've been thinking for months and possibly there is no safe way to get out. But I'm thinking about putting the relationship on hold by moving away somewer a bit far from him, then slowly 'disconnect' myself from him. But then, that wud take a bit of time for him to see the point.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008): The only thing that you can do is be yourself. If you are not in love with him, than so be it. You don't have to be cruel and calculating....Just be yourself, and tell him that you have grown apart. Remember, this is your life too... It really dosen't matter how he takess it. This is your lifek, and as long as you are happy and content, that is what matters. Just as long as you keep his feeling in consederation, that is all that matters. Your happyness coundt too Sweetie Peatie!!
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