A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I know this is a relationships help site, but I really need help!I am in my late 30's and feel that I haven't gotten anywhere in life. I am still single, have a job that isn't exactly my dream job, and I feel extremely lonely!About 2 years ago, I decided to move to a different state where there are jobs in my field, and I was hoping to meet someone special out here as well. But things have not been good. I have no friends to go out with as my coworkers are mostly married and don’t care to go out without their husbands. I feel awkward just going out by myself. I work long hours and feel like I am wasting the best years of my life. Lack of motivation is often what I feel, and just completely bored with everything. I know I should do things to improve the situation, but I have no interest because I feel isolated. Please give me some advice as to how to get out of this rut! Serious answers only please. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): I would visit several churches to find a group of people who, most importanly worhsip in the way you worship, and also may have people in your age range. I don't mean go to church and scope out a partner. But if you develop friendships with your age group, well then it's possible someone their will have a friend to introduce you to.
I would also pick up a hobby, find a club to join and get interaction in your life. I personally think it's much easier to meet others when we feel comfortable with ourselves, so becoming comfortable in your new location, having interests with others thru activities, etc... just allows you to be yourself. When others see you relaxed and enjoying life - they want to get to know you and share that as well. Best of luck!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): Go join a group in your area on meetup.com :)
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A
female
reader, bebe87 +, writes (11 October 2011):
 Sign up for an online dating website, i.e. Match.com or eharmony.com not necessarily to find someone to get married to right away rather network yourself. Half of the people on their may be looking for something serious and others just become good friends. Put yourself out their just a little, send winks to other guys you could be interested in. Soon you will be emailing and chatting with quite a few people. You will start to feel better, have more motivation. I would recommend to try and find girls to be friends with too perhaps signing up for some sort of activity you enjoy doing. Another idea you may want to try, if you are on facebook network to find girls who look like they would be good friends to hang out with and message them saying, “Hi, so I am new to the area and just trying to figure out what is fun around here, any ideas” something to that extent. Some may respond with perhaps an invitation, “ya well my girlfriends and I are going to this (local) if you would like to join us come on by. See what you get. The last thing I would recommend for you is, exercise. Doesn’t have to be for 3 hours a day, maybe take up bike riding or rollerblading or even just going for a walk. It WILL make you feel better and not be so in a rut and down about everyday things because I am sure that is getting real old for you. I hope you find happiness, try to stay positive!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 October 2011):
 Betty's right, Sign up for a class dealing with something you like or are interested in. Do some volunteer work in your community. Get a gym membership. Just get busy, you may have to force yourself at first but the motivation will come and your bordom will disappear when you have something to look forward to each day. Good luck and keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 Ok, make some changes. Any changes, big and small. Start with a couple small then move to big. Don't feel awkward going out alone. Just go! Anywhere! The best friendships and relationships happen when you are doing something you want to do. So do things you want to do. Anything and everything. It may be hard and scary but happiness comes after you push yourself to try things.
By things I mean anything, but for examples.... join a course or club in something like art, philosophy, literature, massage, outdoor persuits, jazz, flute, sailing, etc etc. Or volunteer! Help people in need. You will meet some amazing lovely people and you will feel like you are really making a difference. Or travel! Ok so you moved somewhere new, but you've got into rut there. So visit somewhere different, for a fresh perspective.
Just keep getting out there and living life and you will feel better about everything! I am talking from experience. I know you've heard it before and you think, yeh yeh but its not that easy, and no its not easy, but its the only way to move forward. You have to keep moving.It may be hard and you may feel awkward and shy and silly doing things, but you might not. you might be surprised and feel fantastic and have a blast and not look back again.
hope this helps!
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