A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I have been together for exactly two years and one month now. I'm nineteen and my fiance is seventeen. Although he's only a year younger than me in school terms, he's just a really young guy in his graduating class.Anyways, just recently have I come to realize that he is not the guy for me. He's emotionally and physically abusive and I've caught him cheating on me three times already. Now, I've always been the kind of girl to not do anything about anything; I've actually been told I'm a "Mary-Sue" kind of girl. I'm a huge fan of Twilight, so that definition never really bothered me. But now it does.I'm sick of him treating me like crap all the time! He never lets me hang out with any other guys (he even has a hard time letting me talk to my own brother!) and on various occasions has pressured me for sex. I'm on birth control, so I never really thought the pressured sex was a bad thing, but now I know it's rape. My own fiance rapes me! And also, I've changed my mind about my major many times and he's encouraged me to change it something that will keep me home the majority of the time so HE can "bring home the bacon".Well, I've long since pushed away my ex best friend (someone who was also going through a similar dilemma but she was smart enough to get rid of her ex before it was too late) and my mom and I have been on rocky ground for quite some time now. My dad absolutely despises my fiance and if it weren't for me already living on my own (I'm in a dorm at my college), he would've kicked me out of the house for staying with this guy. Most of my friends have abandoned because they grew sick of listening to me bitch about my fiance all the time and sick of looking at all the bruises on my arms and the occasional bruise on my face.My fiance has successfully isolated me from everything (I'm actually too afraid to become social around my college campus) and I've allowed him to do so. I have no idea what to do in this situation! He graduates in about a month and then goes into the community college down the street from where I used to live (where my ex best friend currently goes - she out of everyone else I know probably hates him more than anything in the world). He'll be there for two years and then he'll join me in this college for two years and after he graduates, that's when we were planning on getting married. But I do not want to marry him anymore.I just want to know how to get out of this. I'm growing scared for my life because the prospect of marrying him is getting closer and closer each day and I've been contemplating suicide for the last month or so. I have no idea who to turn to because I've kept myself from everyone else because I've been too afraid of what my fiance would do to me if he found out what I was doing (which was nothing in the first place) and have turned only to my fiance who knows everything and anything about me and can blackmail me on any level. Help me! Please!
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male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 Many people thing that they can make someone else change, but that never happen. In order for someone to change, it must come from within him.
Relationship is not supposed to be forced on any level, it's a partnership between two people. People who have common interest and are heading in the same direction.
Since relationships is something that starts with mutual respect and desire to be with one another, it also can end when it is desired.
Every party will have something that they could blackmail the other person about since they've been private for some time. The fear of being blackmail, however, is not something that should make someone stay with that person.
When a relationship becomes like a prison, people tend to think like prisoners by trying to figure out ways to break free.
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