A
male
age
51-59,
*iglucic17
writes:Dated a woman for 6 months. She got pregnant after saying she could not. I left and returned after my daughter turned a year old. Had a good relationship and I bought a ring. I asked for a prenuptial and was told maybe. I held the ring for a year. Tried to have another child with her with no luck. She got a boyfriend and blamed me for all of it. No 2nd child no ring no different house and yhemfact that i did not allow her to change or quit her job. We tried counseling but the emotional stress was incredible I was told to give her a ring. I was frozen. Now 23 months later I live with a friend and have done nothing to move forward. I have anxiety and one day I miss her and my daughter and next day I hate her and wish I never got her pregnant. I used to be positive but after she had a boyfriend I was crushed How do I get out of limbo.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2014): Well, you know how to get a structured trust fund set-up for your daughter.
You don't want or need this drama back in your life. You're going to mess up that child's head going back and forth.
You should have added your extra details in the first post.
Facts added after the fact have less credibility.
Get your legal ducks in a row, and get visitation rights for your daughter. You and her mother are incompatible, and there are too many complications between you for any relationship to ever work. I don't have to tell you that. You know it.
A
male
reader, Biglucic17 +, writes (15 August 2014):
Biglucic17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOne last thing. I was being a great Dad and paying the mortgage and then some. She whacked up w a dirt bag who make large cash. Now that it is notbworking out she wants to get back together.
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A
male
reader, Biglucic17 +, writes (15 August 2014):
Biglucic17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. I know I made some mistakes. Trying to do the right thing and stay together. Point of job was she leases a BMW and wanted a bigger more expansive home. I did not want to be the sole provider. Shenruns heavy CC bills and has expectation for money. She is a saver and hard worker but wants or expects to be taken acre of. Thanks for your answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2014): Work on getting legal visitation rights for your daughter.
Sell the ring as a symbol of moving forward; and use the cash to start a college fund or open a trust fund.
Learn how to forgive; because it would be much easier to see your daughter, by being on good terms with her mother.
I don't like this particular comment: "i did not allow her to change or quit her job." If you were that controlling, do you wonder why it was stressful and didn't work-out? She didn't allow you to push her around. Your emotional distress is out of frustration that you couldn't be the control-center of the relationship.
The relationship is dead. Let it rest in peace, and try to change your mindset about the past.
You have a daughter, and your goal should be to start a relationship with her. Just being civil with her mother.
Her mother is off-limits. Get that in your head and you'll find your way out of limbo. You trusted the woman enough to have unprotected-sex; then you wanted a prenuptial agreement to set the terms of marriage. Allowing you complete control over the finances and dominance within your marriage. You're not in limbo, you're in purgatory.
You made your own hell. You are consumed in hate. Let that go and things will change. Your relationship didn't work-out, and that is for the better. She wasn't honest and you're too controlling. The little girl is innocent of all this.
Make life good for your daughter, aside from what her mother has turned out to be. Your little girl is a blessing.
Make lemonade out of the lemons.
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