A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been exploring my sexuality for a very long time. I started masturbating at a very young age which is when I first discovered the effect a shower nozzle had on my nether regions. Ever since that, I've masturbated with high intensity jets of water. Around this time I also discovered pornography, and became more and more invested on it for mental stimulation. When I went off to college, I purchased my first vibrator (a small bullet toy).I think all these years of needing such high stimulation for my mind and body has numbed me to anything else. This wasn't a problem until I started to be sexually active with actual people. Right now, I find myself in a very committed relationship and its been over half a year. My boyfriend and I are rather sexually active, but no matter how hard he tries he can't get me to orgasm. This makes me very frustrated, not at him, but at myself. I don't blame him at all, after all I can barely do the same for myself without the help of a toy. He has tried to use a vibrator on me, but it still doesn't work. He also doesn't like it because he feels its not him who is giving me pleasure. I have orgasmed with just the stimulation of my own hands before, but only after watching and reading copious amounts of pornography. This only happens once in a blue moon. I talk to him about this problem sometimes, and he admit it makes his upset at himself because he doesn't feel like he can pleasure me. He also tells me that he knows it will happen eventually, and that he will be the one to make me orgasm. I really appreciate him trying so hard, and continuing to do so but at the same time I feel a lot of pressure when ever we make love. I always end up getting frustrated and just giving up on myself, and resorting to making sure that he feels good instead.I want to learn how to orgasm without vibrators or porn, but whenever I try masturbating in this way, I get immensely frustrated and upset at myself. Its really frustrating that while I can't bring myself to orgasm in an hour, my vibrator can do it in less than 2 minutes. I feel like theres something wrong with me, and it's my fault for being so trigger happy with sexual pleasure from a young age.I understand what comes first is learning how to pleasure myself before I have any hopes of teaching my boyfriend how to do the same. But how do I give myself orgasms without porn or vibrators? I'm reluctant with the idea of quitting cold turkey, I know that would be incredibly difficult for me, but I can't think of any other way. If this is the only way, is there anyway to make the transition easier?How do I get myself to relax more with my boyfriend in the bedroom? How do I get over being so frustrated when I can't cum? Please help!
View related questions:
orgasm, porn, vibrator Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2015): I have no issue with porn or robotic sex aides... but in this case they are interfering with a relationship and your ability to orgasm from anthing but those two things.Firstly... stop using the vibrator and porn. Don't masturbate for as long as you can... until you are absolutelt bursting with lust and desire and THEN have sex with your partner. Hell it doesn't even need to be sex. Go down on each other. Give massages to each other. Have sex in the back seat of your car. Try multiple positions... want each other.Sex isn't a chore. Be creative and relax. Go out for a nice dinner and have a few wines... come home and rip each others clothes off the second you get in the door.Forget trying to make each other orgasm. Have fun with it. And quit worrying. Worrying kills it faster than anything.
|
