A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm such a mess. I've had depression since september when I started college, had to drop two of my A levels because I fell too far behind, I got cheated on by the love of my life who broke up with me in October, but we still have sex whenever he gets lonely and rings me because I miss him. I'm having councelling but it's just making things worse, I'm on medication but it's not making a difference, and I just don't know what to do any more. I feel like I've lost everything and have no idea how to get it back.
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female
reader, peppersalt +, writes (11 April 2007):
my advice (pure opinion) is STOP HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EX. he is using you for sex even though he doesn't feel you're worth being with! it shows a total lack of respect and right now you do not need someone like that hurting you. there are plenty of guys who will love and respect you enough to want you to be their gf, and they will come in time. Just get the horrible ex outta the picture.
secondly I say stop taking the meds. you're obviously depressed for a reason so drugs aren't going to change anything. (I'm not a doctor but this is how I feel. take it as pure advice though). find a different counsellor, identify what is upsetting you and change it. get rid of the ex, if college is really upsetting you then go to a different one next year and start over. get out and meet more people so you know there are others out there to chat to and meet and date.
don't worry about your a levels hun, I only came out of college with one a level and 3 as levels cos I was so screwed up with personal problems while I was there. there is always hope for learning more in the future.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): Are you the sort of person feels that they are the cause of the things that happen in their life or that you are the effect of things that happen to you?Which side do you think is more empowering? To be the cause is a much better way of viewing your life. Even if you don't know this is true say this to yourself " I cause all of the effects in my world; I create everything that happens "You might not believe it, but look at your life problems with this perspective in mind. I think you will make tremendous progress in sorting out the ex-boyfriend problem and your depressive thinking. You and only you can take control of your thoughts and emotions and steer it to happier times. Perhaps this means making some firm decisions such as: a) moving on properly from your ex so you are no longer being used b) arranging a visit to the GP and getting your medication changed. c) Find a new counselor [look for a CBT counselor - message me for more information] Just these three choices alone will certainly build to infinitely improve your life.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (10 April 2007):
 If your medication isn't working for you tell your doctor. Different people need different anti depressants because there are different types of depression. Don't give up on the counselling. I get the impression you had already decided it wasn't going to help you before you started and thats way too early to lose faith. Counselling is something that takes some getting used to. It's not a quick fix and it's quite natural for it to feel weird the first few times or for it to make you feel sad because it dredges up stuff you don't let yourself think about. As for the boyfriend tell him its all or nothing and mean it. Letting him use you for sex doesn't help you and you know that so stop the cycle now. As for your A Levels you have your whole life to learn, just concentrate on getting better for now.
CD
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