A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi. i am just getting back into the motion of things with my ex girlfriend who i dated to almost 3 years. we have beenbroken up for 9 months and we both still love eachother and want to slowly try again.now i know sex arguements really make guys look like jerks. but for me one big problem we had before was she didnt want to really do it. only when she rarley initiated it. and thats mostly when shes drunk. now what i dont get is why does it seems like girls sometimes use it as a fishing line. i feel like this happened to me and some other people i know. my example is when we first started talking again after 9 months when id see her she was always wantting to have sex and she was GOOD. but now we are hanging out all the time and seeing eachother more, its going back to the way it was. i feel like she used sex to reel me in. i feel stupid. so this weekend we had a great friday and sat. so sat night we were in bed again about to go to sleep so i figured id try to initiate something. and she coped an attitude and basically denied me. to me sex is really important in a relationship and i just dont know how to explain how i feel its not as bad of a thing as she thinks it is and i want her to know im not just trying for sex and thats it. how do i have this kind of talk wither her??? i cant put words to my thoughts very well. thanks for any help :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): Honestly, I would tell her exactly that: that you think sex is an important part of a young healthy relationship and that you dont want to pressure her into anything, so is there anything wrong sweetie? that sort of a line. dont approach it as "i want sex, fix yourself to suit my needs" but more of a "i want sex, what suits your needs?" because then shell be aware of it and girls like to know yours interested in what they THINK.
plus at least its in the open then and something will change. whenther its for the best or not, well then shit, shes not the girl for you. sexual compatibility is a must.
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