A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have a female friend who I've known for 3 or 4 years and who got engaged about a year and a half ago. When I first met her I had a huge crush on her, but as she was always unavailable I pretty much accepted just being her friend simply because we got along so well. We went to different colleges so for awhile we didn't talk extremely often, but we still kept in touch pretty well. About two months ago we started talking to each other a lot more, pretty much carrying on conversations all day. She started telling me a lot about problems she was having with her fiance and would come to talk to me after any fights. I was careful to stay rather neutral and not try to guide her in one direction or the other, but she ended up ending her engagement anyway. In the time we had talked more, we were both pretty flirtatious. At the time I had thought it was just friendly joking around, but a couple days after she broke up with her fiance she pretty much out right told me she had feelings for me and had for some time. I told her I didn't think starting anything so soon after the end of her engagement, but SHE convinced ME she was really positive about her decision and ready for a relationship. After about a week of going out, she ended up saying that she was wrong and couldn't be in a relationship again so soon and just wanted to be friends again. I was pretty crushed but told her how I completely understood and things went pretty much back to normal. We still spent a decent amount of time together for the next two weeks as friends, and things seemed to be going fine. If anything it seemed like she was leaning towards starting a relationship again. Then one day she just stopped answering me. No fight, no argument, no nothing, just stopped. She wouldn't answer me by phone, text, email, anything. I couldn't even get an answer as to what the problem was.I tried several times until about a week and a half after that when I just stopped trying. This isn't something I ever would've imagined her doing. I've always considered her one of the nicest, coolest people I know. Even though it was essentially her fiance's anger problems that caused her to break up with him, she still tried to be friends with him after. I just don't know what to do or to think. Not knowing what happened just drives me crazy. Honestly, I think I loved that girl. Not having a relationship with her is one thing. It sucks but I can get over it. But I'm actually transferring out to her school next semester (decision unrelated to her, at least) and I really want my friend back. Does anyone have any ideas or is that just completely a lost cause?
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 July 2010):
 That's really odd. Something is up, but without any contact it is hard to know what. I think your best bet would be to send her an email or text saying that you're worried because she isn't returning any calls/texts/emails and just want to make sure she's ok. If she wants to talk, you're there, but you won't try contacting her anymore if thats what she wants. Good luck, that sounds really odd.
My ex gf did that to me. We went from talking one day, and everything being "fine" to her not answering or returning my calls the next. I had to break it off via email because she wouldn't answer the damn phone. After 3 years I figured she could at least be an adult about it, but I guess not. Anyway, my point is, people do weird things sometimes out of the blue. Good luck. I wouldn't hold my breath, but I hope you hear something at least that puts your mind at ease.
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