A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:How do I get my boyfriend to move out without the police or having to change the locks he has sort of a temper and I dont wont to set him off:Hello My boyfriend and I live together now for 6 months when he first moved in everything was good I am the mother of an 18 year old handicapped daughter but then I learned he was demanding and a little overkill with being clean he is good at cooking and cleaning etc now we have discussed him moving out and he has had me go online and look and got an appplication from some places.Now we do have our arguments the other week it was a Saturday I was no good all day that morning he was on the phone sounding upset he had been to 2 cookouts one that Thursday and that Friday and I could something or someone had made him mad I was washing and he goes in the washroom out he comes and starts during the arguement I had said a few time once why dont you just move out and there were a few other times he has issues with food which really nerves me like my daughter and she does just wont to eat and eat and close together I hate in a way when we are here together what I really dont wont is a real bad argument and I open the front door and tell him to get the blank on out not saying he will go look at the other week. am
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (24 June 2011):
 Talk to your landlord about changing the locks if the ex gives you grief. Hopefully it will not be a problem.
While I own the home my ex and I lived in together, he was horrible about moving out. I had to realize that he is not going to be expected to be motivated and choose it on his own. I had to tell him 30 days and I meant it.
I took care of things in stages. When we knew the relationship was quits, I moved ALL his stuff out of our bedroom and he had to sleep on the sofa. Hell no I was not going to share my room or bed with him. (Yes, he asked to sleep there because it was more comfortable).
I started making a list for him what was HIS to move out, he agreed, then I made him move it ALL to one corner of the front room.
Unfortunately, things did get ugly and he wanted me to not even be here on moving day because it was too hard for him. I was here to make sure he didnt take anything that did not belong to him. I was polite to his friends that helped him moved with drinks as well. I thanked them, then changed the locks that weekend! He was furious about that because he forgot something later, which he had to arrange for me to be HOME to collect.
He told everyone I kicked him out, that I was nasty to him, etc...which could not be further from the truth. I just stayed consistent with the plan and made him see it thru.
I did allow him to store some boxes in the garage, which I should NOT have done, because that took another three years for him to collect, until I threated them out on the curb! It was a great day when ALL his stuff was finally GONE.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question To RedAthena: Thanks for your answer its my apartment and he is moving out we will still go together I am not moving sorry if that sounded smart I dont have the money right now and I have lived here be 4 months this December we cannot change the lock on the door I dont think either
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (23 June 2011):
Did you get the residence together? Did one of you move in first?You already suggested he moved out, thus you have let him know the relationship is done, right?He is having YOU go online to get applications for other places? Why are you doing the work?If it is YOUR home (or you secured it first) Let him know that he has a limited time to move out. Do not worry about where..it is the WHEN that matters. What is reasonable? 2 weeks? 30 days? You can help by helping him pack. He needs to visably SEE that he is GOING.When the deadline approaches, tell him to make arrangments or he will find his belongings on the curb. Change the locks! You just have to. You have no guarantee he will not keep a key for himself. Just do it for your peace of mind for you and your daughter.Set your terms and stick by them. You WILL have to get into conflict if he is difficult. If you are in a rental, it might just be easier for YOU to move if you do not deal with conflict well.Best Wishes.
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