A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hiya,Long story short I like this Boy he likes me back but when I asked him out he said no coz he didn't want a gf at moment!! So my best friend and my crush as good friends and someone said to me they should be together and not me and him and I have been ignoring the comment.But on Friday I started to see what they were on about I saw them together and I swear she is half flirting with him so I asked my friend and she said that she thinks my best friend likes him but he is not interested in her only me!! But how do I tell I don't want this to reck our friendship but I don't want to lose him!!How do I win him over her and how do I get his attention more on me than her!!??!! Thanks all the help needed!!P.s. it sounds like Im being gredy but I'm not really I just really like him!! :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (23 June 2014):
 Sweetheart, I know you desperately want this boy to like you and go out with you, but ultimately you cannot force him to share the same feelings about you.
I don't think there would be a single person who could say that every boy/girl they have liked returned the feelings. We all experience disappointment in love. It is part of growing up.
This is probably the first time you have felt these feelings, but it won't be the last - as you get older and more experienced you learn to chalk these things up to life, and move on. Plenty more fish in the sea!
A lot of people are not ready to have a boy/girlfriend at your age. Even at 18 years old, they are not ready. And that is ok! These things should not be rushed. If your friend says he doesn't want a girlfriend, then you have to respect that. If you force the issue, then how much do you actually care about him, and is it only about YOUR feelings? Relationships are a partnership, a shared equal thing. If you start something based purely on what YOU want, then it is doomed to fail anyway.
Ultimately if he likes someone else more than you, nothing you do will change that. He is allowed to do that. I know that hurts, but you will get over it.
At your age, boyfriend/girlfriend relationships very rarely last anyway. Mainly because they are formed through peer pressure and trying to be "cool" and "mature" when really you are not old enough to handle the emotional side of things.
Would it be better to remain just friends with this boy, rather than damage your friendship?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2014): Thanks both of u for ur advice I have done some other questions about him before so u may have seen them!!
I will take ur advice for today but I am still thinking bits over!! I am dreding what may happen but I may move on if that's the best thing for both of us!!
Thank u both so much I appreciate your time and effort in to u answering!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2014): I think you need to move on; IF he really like YOU and ONLY you, he wouldn't flirt with your friend. Thing is, he said he didn't want a girlfriend so, he either REALLY doesn't want a girlfriend and you shouldn't try to change that (I believe you've posted about him recently), or it was just his polite way of turning you down.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (23 June 2014):
When it comes to love, it is a two way street. It is not about "winning".
You cannot "lose" him as you don't have him in the first place. He is not a prize to be fought over.
Feelings come into play, and his matter just as much as yours. Sadly this often means that one person likes the other more than is returned. This is a fact of life and you will feel this many more times as you get older.
It may be, that this boy either was being truthful and doesn't want a girlfriend at the moment (in which case you have to respect his wishes and wait) OR he was being kind and trying to not hurt your feelings by telling you straight out that he wasn't interested.
But I would say always be careful about believing what "friends" tell you, as often they can be telling you what you want to hear, not the truth. How does she know what he is thinking/feeling? Did he tell her? Or is this something she has made up in her head? Can you honestly say that she got this information from him?
Realistically if he had wanted to be your boyfriend, he would have said yes when you asked him out.
You are still very young, and crushes will come and go. When a boy really likes you, he will show you.
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