A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:sooo, im a single mother. and i should be happy for what i do have rather then what i dont. my sons father has never been there for me, and i always feel like im lost with adult company (a guy) im in my 20s, and because im a single mother i dont have alot of friends, i dont get out much so when i have that one person i feel on top of the world. anyways... about a year ago i meant someone who i was not looking for but couldnt of made me happier. he had been everything ive been looking for. he also has a child, great dad loving and understanding. we started to hang out and eventually took it to the next level in every way. now the last couple of months hes been going back and forth between me and his ex girlfriend. i tell him, that if that relationship with her was so good he wouldnt had persude me, but every month he builds a relationship with me and leaves again. his excuses are that he over thinks everything, afraid of change and just cant let go of past, yet when hes with her all hes worried about is me. calling, txting, seening me on the DL. says he loves me and has gone through alot trying to make him and i possible. i know he cares about me but im tired of getting comfortable and then being left. i feel like i let my son down as well. so currently we are not talking, however we work together. how do i handle the situation and get over someone i see everyday?! hes chosen to go back to her for the 5th time, the relationship is completely damaged, no trust, anything.. so why live backwards rather then moving forward with me? im lodt, alone, and i dont know where to start....help!!!
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (30 April 2012):
 You need to change the story you have in your head, at the moment it is telling you this man is wonderful, understanding and everything you ever wanted.
If he was wonderful, understanding and everything you ever wanted he would not be treating you, AND YOUR SON like some innanimate object he can pick up and put down when ever he feels like it.
Block his number, dont accept his texts, dont accept his phone calls, wipe him from your online connections, dont email, when he tries to initiate personal conversations at work tell him your relationship is purely as work colleagues and platonic, and that if he wants deep and meaningfulls he needs to go elsewhere.
You are not his door mat, stop waiting around for this time waster, build a good strong life for your son and yourself, you will find that as you grow and learn to do things for yourself you will soon be attracting a better type of man.
Good luck to you and your son!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): I think the first thing you do is you don't allow him to come back. And then you ask yourself, "How do I move on?" You say that this guy makes you happy, but from the sounds of it, you're not all that happy. He's not being fair to you or your child but, ultimately, neither are you. Your son needs a stable adult in his life, if there's going to be a second adult, not one who runs out and comes back on a monthly basis.
Set a good example for your son to show him that women shouldn't be treated this way and find a new adult companion. It's hard and it's frustrating (even moreso when you're a singly mom) but it's a better situation then the one you're in now. You and your son deserve better.
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