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anonymous
writes: Me and my partner of just over 2 yrs have been on and off for so long that i cant recall how many times we have split. I did have a problem with alchol but after the last time he left (6 weeks ago), i decided to knock the drink on the head which was a realy brave move, when i drunk he used to say the house was a pig stye, i only wanted him for sex when i was drunk and i had no pride in myself etc. Since he walked out i have stopped the drink, the house is always immaculate, but ive found out now that he lies to me, walks out even if im sober and generally acts like a right prat most of the time. When we split he promised hat he would come round every night which he didnt{we got into a fight and he didnt come round for 2 days}, when we argue he storms off and goes out for hours on end. When he finished with me i told him about a male friend i had met, i invited him to meet this m/friend and he declined, it has later turned out he text my friend under the pretense of being a female and tried to find out exactly what happened between us but he had a dream about a girl called c and it turns out {although she is gay} that he was popping in for coffee to her house without me knowing anything about her. He lies to me all the time he doesnt like the fact that ive lost weight, go swimming {usually with my kids who are 12 and 13} and go to salsa classes with a female instuctor, and that i want to go to college to practise indian head massage. Since i asked him to move back which he did 2 weeks ago its been hell, my kids didnt want him back but i thought it was my fault with the drink now i can see what they mean. He never laughs or jokes he is totally miserable it feels like he is dragging me back to the bottle, i dont think that we have anything in common any more and i view him as a drinking buddy not a partner.All the close people around me told me to get rid of him when he walked out six weeks ago but i thought that because i had changed so had he but nothing is worth risking my sobriety for. I have hinted at him moving out and i have tonight told him to go but he says hes staying put, how do i go about this now, i will not go back to the bottle for him, i was in it for 24 years on and off and mainly on and now i have the courage to keep away from it i cant afford to make any mistakes. I want him to leave and never come back but his name is on the mortgage it's so different now even from two weeks ago with the partner that made me happy. I feel that he lured me to this now i'm stuck unhappy and struggling to keep off the bottle. Please suggest something i need help it feels like mental abuse/torture that is happening and apart from changing the locks and barricading the door i don't now what else to do.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 I think that the only thing you can do is keep going in the same direction, never giving up. You decided to stop drinking, and to stop this bad relationship, and I commend you on that; just stay away from the temptation to go back to what damages you and your children.
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