A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my ex boyfriend and i were dating for over a year. we broke up often but got back together within 1 day max. but this time its different. my ex has been having trouble with his step mother and school. hes been charged for plagiarism and has been going through a lot of stress. through all this he told me how much strength i gave him. i made him go to counseling and he has been feeling much better. he might have hypomania. he always told me how he thought i was a strong person but recently he has been telling me how weak he thinks all women are. i asked him if he thinks i am weak. he twists the answer. then he tells me how once we broke up and i started crying and he came back. he also said that he loves me because i love him. i have never said i love you to him. moving on i told him that if he does not wants this i will leave right now and not call him again. he said ok. i quietly got up picked up my stuff. he was just silently lying on the bed like he was in shock. he told me he has to pick up stuff from my place and on his way out of my house he said its over ...final! We both every very calm through out the conversation. But when he went out of my house I realized he was mad. I was puzzled as to WHY he was mad. He chose this.its been 3 days now. I have not heard a word from him. i miss him soo much. i am not gona call him coz well i mentioned it above and i have to prove that i am not weak and nor are women.but i love him and i do want him back. i am going nuts thinking about him. every time the phone rings i jump up and my heart is in my stomach i get nervous. How do I get him back with out even calling him. Do I wait for him to call. Does he even want to get back. We both a away from home in a different country. We were each others only support and were best friends. Every waking moment I spent with him. I suddenly feel so lost.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much for your response. it has given me confidence. he has not been cheating on me for sure. he were together 24/7. i am not gona call him. il wait and hope he calls.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (12 March 2009):
 The only way you can get him back is by not calling him. Like you said, he chose this. And he is being weird. My boyfriend has done this same thing. Your ex seems to be going through some stuff and is taking it out on you. That or he may have met someone else, guys tend to push us away if they meet another girl but are too afraid to just end it. I bet it's the first thing I said though. You did everything right. You were there for him, you asked if he wanted you to leave, he had to seem tough and just said no. I won't say that he doesn't care but he definitely wants you to think that. You can't call him because you will be giving in essentially. Has how he has been acting hurt you? It sounds like it has and if that is the case why should you be the one to go back? And also, if he is hurting you then he should care enough to get you back. And if he doesn't call then he must not care too much. It sounds cheesy but I have read the "How to get your boyfriend back" articles and every one of them said NO CONTACT. In addition to find your own life and keep busy, etc. Basically I think he messed up and treated you like crap and now he lost you. Maybe he will realize or maybe he is still messed up. Just give him time. Let him get over whatever is bothering him, he obviously doesn't want you help with whatever it is since he pushed you away. I'm sure he will call eventually. My boyfriend did the same exact thing when he lost his job and was depressed. I was pushed away then he got over his depression and called and apologized for everything. It sounds so similar to what happened with me but I could be wrong. He's probably just stressed out to the max. Well good luck. And don't call!
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