A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I've been with my gf for 2 years now, I love her to death. She is the second woman I have ever slept with, the first was my girlfriend that I had between the ages of 13 and 16 (on and off, mostly off- I dumped her for good a few weeks after I turned 16). I'm 22 now. My problem is that my current gf is jealous of the fact that I had sex with my teenage gf. I am her first and she has difficulty, she worries that the sex was better with my teen gf or that I am thinking about her when we make love. She worries that I was more sexually attracted to my teen gf than I am to her as well, or that we had a deep emotional connection.This is ridiculous on so many levels... for one thing, who really has good sex when they are in junior high? As for the attraction/emotional connection bit... jesus, I was 13, 14, 15 years old... I wasn't attracted to her, I just wanted to be able to tell my friends I'd done it! My girlfriend won't listen to me when I tell her all of these things. Why would I fantasize about sex that I had with a 15 year old girl, now that I am with a 22 year old woman- to fantasize about a 15 year old would be more than a bit perverted. I've tried to explain everything to her, to tell her that she's amazing in bed (which she really is), or that she's gorgeous, etc etc. She still worries though, thinks I"m lying to make her feel better. Since she never had sex when she was a teenager, I don't think she really understands just how... bad the sex is. I rarely "came" when I had sex with my jr high girlfriend (though I'd never tell my friends that), and even when I did, the "sex" was so forgettable that I (honestly) can hardly even recall it... How do I get my girlfriend to believe me, and how do I get her to stop worrying about my adolescent sexual experiences?? It's so silly but she doesn't want to listen.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): This isn't very helpful but what was in the past is in the past! Be this a lesson to everyone -- don't discuss sexual history with your partner as it hardly ever has a good outcome!
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 This is a tough one. Reading your post, I believe every word of it. I didn't have sex as a teenager, either, but I can believe that it's nothing special. The trouble is, your girl obviously feels very insecure and thinks you're "just saying it".
At any rate, I would keep reassuring her. Despite her upset, she wants to keep hearing your words of reassurance. In fact, I would say she craves them! Be patient and keep reassuring her until she gets sick of hearing it.
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 just sit her down one day and tell her how you feel and what happened. she should trust you and if she doesn't this may need to be addressed.
good luck
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