A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay life story..This question is specifically about a girl I like but I'll probably go off the point a bit.Alright then - there is this girl I've liked for a while now (a few months to half a year). We'll call her S. She is black, I'm white etc. We're both in the same friendship group (everyone is black but me - you'll understand why this is important soon). She is v.e.r.y hard to break down and is a very independent, headstrong, Christian girl but we get along well. My other friend J (female) said that she'd bring me up in a private conversation subtly just to see what S's thoughts are of me, to which S replied "He's a friend, I only go for black guys"... I'll explain that because of my interests, music and character etc - most of my friends are ethnic, more specifically black and as a result most of the girls I've been with, bar one, have been black or mixed race. However, I continually hit this problem and it really gets to me sometimes: Why am I rejected on the colour of my skin? This is probably depressing but I try and shape myself to be as appealing as possible for girls should I meet the right one e.g. I breakdance, workout, sing, beatbox, play drums, go to church, I'm quite tall, I drive, I go to uni, I put a lot of effort into haircuts, clothes, I am starting a business and I constantly put my female friends first and surprise them or go out of my way to be a nice guy.Back to the point, my music interests, style, speech are all almost identical to all my black guy mates - so I am LITERALLY being ruled out because of colour - and this happens A LOT - probably around half of black girls I meet have this view which I'd consider racist. I don't know what to do because this kills my self-esteem.Should I keep trying to show S that I could be good enough for her, try for someone else, or give up on black girls completely? PLUS any explanation to this attitude would be appreciated by anyone - because so far I've killed all of my friends arguments. Thank you
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female
reader, KITcAThottie  +, writes (8 April 2011):
Well is her loss she shouldn't judge you or not like you just because of your skin color. So you should find someone who likes all and all skin color and everything. I'm a black girl and to be honest I like white guys I don't care what color skin thereon I'm dating is.
A
female
reader, Rainy78  +, writes (8 March 2011):
Maybe if you continue to be nice to her and a good friend, she will start to see you in a different light. I have a friend who said the same thing about dating people of other races, but now she is dating a guy of another race. His kindness eventually won her over.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate everyone's contribution to this post - I guess my real issue is that - I really like her and I have to see her almost every day and its disappointing that the one thing that's stopping us is something that I can't help.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 March 2011):
 Very simple explanation : " I only go for black guys " means " I am only physically attracted to black guys ".You may talk like a black guy, walk like a black guy, etc.etc- but you obviously don't look like a black guy.So she may think that you make a wonderful friend... but you lack that " je ne sais quoi " which makes you sexually appetible.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): Well, its nice you can kill all your friends arguments but chemistry and attraction will trump every one of them. Some black girls like white guys and some just like black guys. Some guys like white girls and some Asian. If someone rejects you or doesn't like you, move on.
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A
female
reader, Purple spotted lizard +, writes (5 March 2011):
Okey so this S girl, shes black and your white and she cant she past your skin colour? Well, tell me if Im wrong, but I think shes been in a relationship where he was racist and haveing a fake love. She doesnt want it to happen again to her. You need to show her you dont care what colour her skin is and make her realize that skin colour isnt what counts. I have a black friend Im not racist to her. Not everyone cares. So dont go do a Micheal Jackson on me and change your skin colour!!!
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (5 March 2011):
You shouldn't give up on black girls, you have to give up to this black girl who doesn't want white guys. She told so to her friend. So, it's seems that you don't have chance.
Every person chooses the attributes to take into account when deciding to date someone or not. She includes skin colour so, move on.
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