A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my boyfriend for 5 and a half months now and we are really really happy together. The problem is that his ex won't leave him alone. They had a very short relationship last December where she only met him three times, ignored him constantly and then ended up dumping him. She seems really angry at him and keeps accusing him of doing all sorts of things. Last Saturday she dragged him into a cloakroom at a party and wouldn't let him leave, she slapped him and started asking questions about me (i.e. "it kills me every time I see you two together" "I bet you just tell her you love her to satisfy her, yeah?", "what about me?"). I'm not sure how to handle this situation, The three of us already have a long history (me and the ex both had a minor fall out about this boy this time last year) We're not friends and my boyfriend really hates her. It seems that this entire relationship is revolving around three people instead of two. Talking to her only seems to aggravate things and she manages to twist everything back at me and my boyfriend. (she acuused my boyfriend of cheating when they were going out, which he didn't do, and then proceeded to discuss "the good times" with him.) How do I get her out of this relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): I agree, this is your bf's problem and this ex gf has no right slapping him. If she gets stalkerish, calling him all the time, amd continung to sabotage your time with him by interfering in your dating life, then clearly, you are dealing with a very troubled girl who has her own emotional problems. But before you get restraining orders and have her picked up by the police.. try first, to do all you 'both' can to completely ignore her. This has to most definitely include your bf. Avoid places she goes and social circles she hangs out with. Your bf has made a point of stating he dislikes her and he needs to totally detach and say a resounding NO to her when she approaches his space and requests to talks with him, away from you. He owes her nothing-they are done. But he owes you something...the respect, the honor to not allow this ex gf of his upset you and disrupt the solidarity you two share.
Love your bf, be with him, trust him.. He doesn’t need to pay for her improper, inappropriate behavior. I can hobnestly state as in many instances...when this ex gf's interest falls on someone else, her behaviors will end. Until then, all your bf has to do, is ignore her and you need to do this as well. It will be hard for awhile as one of the hardest things to do is to feign a sincere indifference, with people like this ex hf. Be strong, detach yourself from her attention seeking actions and just get on with life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Tell him to push her out of his life for once and for all. You are the girlfriend and shouldnt have to put up with this. Let him know that you want her out of your lives and if he doesnt do anything about it then say that you are not staying around to be part of a triangle, because they cause nothing but pain. Let him know that you are not prepared to put up with this any longer. If he persists then be prepared to walk out. Dont make any promises that you know you cannot keep.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, sweetlilpeachx69 +, writes (26 September 2007):
tell him if he talks to her its over.. explain it will make you an evil bitter bitch i know my man and i are just getting over this . it took like 5 months out of our 10 month relationship. finally he just started ignoring her . that must mean i am way more important than her !! that makes me really happy!!! i hope it works out that way for you .. . let me know how it goes with an update ..
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 Why don't you sit your b/f down and ask him how he plans to solve this problem? He's the only one that can do it, not you. You will only get into a cat fight with this girl which will put you on her level of scum. Ask him if he enjoys being abused by her at parties and other social outings and if he says no, then ask him if he has any ideas on how to avoid conflicts like this in the future. It has to be embarrassing and tiresome to both of you. Surely he's man enough to figure something out. Is he a bit of a coward? Or can he stand up for himself and tell her to f**k off? I think he's afraid of her. Otherwise he would've already gotten rid of her. Maybe a restraining order would wake her up.
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