A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:how do I get back on my feet - can this be done? Three years ago I hung out with the in crowd and got myself in financial debt - I was making money and also spending money - long story short I got unexpectedly laid off and I had to move back home . I am home and thankful my folks took me home but it doesn’t come with a price - over holiday dinner they reminded me how I’m not married yet and how I can’t be trusted with money - and how I can’t be capable of anything. It hurts because I have deviated the last year to paying 30k - I work overtime in my corporate job then I also bartender at night. I never go out anymore or enjoy anything as I have become obssee with saving and getting out of this messsMy question is this- is it too late for me to have a family ? To save money ? To built a future ? I in my early thirties but I see everyone around me already had their houses and kids and here I am screwing everything up and it will be another year until I end up balanced with my finances My parents mock me of my dream to move to California and sometimes I loose faith that I will pull this on my own and get out of this situation - all the money I earn goes to my debt.I don’t date or go out anymore at my 100 percent effort has been for this but I’m starting to doubt myself because of their words . Over Christmas dinner my grandmother hinted that my age might be running out I’m so confused I want to turn my life around - I got rid of the bad people mh friends and as soon as I try now I have to also run with time?Any advice? I have a couple of thousand to pay off then I want to start saving to move in California to at least be free and by the beach This will realistically take me a year and a half of sacrifice - am I late in the game?I feel so sad after that dinner - I can’t obviously talk to my family because all they know is how to race against time and do things step by step even though their not happy
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2018):
 California is expensive. One of THE most expensive states if you aren't rich. (Hawaii might also be expensive - on goods they have to import, like milk and other day to day items but the day to day life there is no insanely expensive compared.) Unemployment is also very high in CA.
Just figured I'd put that out there. I don't know you reasoning for California, maybe because you like the lifestyle there (or what you think the life style is like and I get that, but you are old enough to know that you can't live on a dream, you have to factor in reality.) YOU can not run from your issues. They are yours and will follow you. Remember that too.
If it's just a ocean beach living you want, there are plenty of places to go -
http://www.businessinsider.com/best-us-beach-towns-2017-6
Some which have MUCH more to offer in terms of a future.
As for, ARE you too late in the game. I don't think so. I can't say for sure how your fertility fares but being in your 30's doesn't mean LIFE is over.
And no, I don't think it means you will never be able to have a family and save up etc. etc.
You obviously learned from your mistake and you are working VERY hard to pay off your debt and move forward. So just keep moving forward. Making a plan (moving to Cali after some saving for that) is fine, but also make a plan B in case you go there and things don't work out as you had hoped. The world is a big place!
I would also suggest when you start on your "Cali Fund" you start looking for jobs/transfers to CA so you might GO there having a job lined up already.
You have one life, LIVE IT.
A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (2 January 2018):
 I wish I could pay off $30K in a year. Good job.According to your letter you've made mistakes, taken responsibility for them, set goals and now you're are taking steps to accomplish them. Seems like you're doing what you need to be doing. We're all going through it not to mention the harsh reality that we're getting older and older by the minute. It's NOT going to come off all glamorous and magical like some cheesy Cinderella movie.It upsets me how people automatically just start labelling you as old or up in age the sec you touch 30, as if it's a tainted age or something. Ignore your family, they seem to mean well but sometimes meaning well limits us to staying put in our comfort zones and if you decide to stay in your comfort zone all your dreams with huddle up and die there with you.It's never too late for anything. DON'T envy others for what they have. Some people are married and are miserable or completely regret it. Others have kids and want to kill themselves. Work on giving yourself more credit for your actions as well as showing appreciation for what you do have now. Your pain is what makes you stronger.All the best.
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A
male
reader, Nicholassssssssssss +, writes (2 January 2018):
I am positive that you can for sure turn your life around my aunt was in a very similar situation as you. She had a lot of credit card dept and turned her life around and moved away and has an amazing job now and a great life and is still single. Don’t ever feel like you have to be married either there is nothing wrong with the single life. Hope everything goes well for you!:)
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (2 January 2018):
 It sounds as if you have already got your life back in order. You paid off most of your debt and you have a plan for the future. Why are you doubting yourself now?
Do you just need to give yourself a small holiday to break the monotony of your life? Why not?
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